At the first sign of disagreement, uncomfortable issues or emotions, does your family ‘shut down’? Shutting down is often done to protect the individuals and the family system and is often done because the members simply don’t have the skills …
Tag: communication
How to Approach Family Discussions about Cycle Breaking
A lot of cycle breaking that takes place in families happens without much open discussion. Often families don’t have the language or willingness to discuss things that might be unhealthy for one or more members. Things that might prevent a …
What is YOUR Primary Love Language?
A few people have asked me how to discover their primary love language. A lot of people read through the list and think “I love ALL of those!”, why do I just need to choose one or two? In a …
Understanding Your Partner’s Love Language
If your partner received little quality time as children, this will be even more triggering for them. It can re-awaken deep feelings of being unloved and uncared for. You might find that their reaction is bigger than you would expect …
Accepting Words of Affirmation
When we have grown up receiving few affirmations from the people around us, it can be difficult to receive words of affirmation as an adult. You might find yourself feeling suspicious and wondering if you are being manipulated. This could …
Understanding Needs in Relationships
Attempting to get all our needs met through one person is often a subconscious pattern. We all have the need to be loved, and accepted, for play, for trust and connection. Some of these needs can only be met interpersonally, …
Significant EQ Abilities Are…
The ability to perceive emotions is something we learn in childhood. When my son was about 9, he went through a phase of about two months where he would regularly ask me if I was feeling angry. He would say: …
Importance of Emotional Intelligence
Children can learn emotional intelligence and so can couples. What is emotional intelligence (emotional quotient or EQ)? EQ is the ability to understand and process your emotions in a positive way to release stress, empathise with others, communicate effectively and …
How to Interact with Closed-Minded People
I don’t really like the term ‘closed-minded people’ because I think some of the people we label as ‘closed-minded’ just have a different point of view to us.
Words Used to Shame and Prevent Assertiveness:
A sure way to stop people from being assertive is to shame them. As Brene Brown talks about so wonderfully in her book ‘Daring Greatly’, shame is pervasive in our culture. It limits innovation, authentic self-expression and stops us from …