A good friend of mine used to joke that he could always test how much work he had done on himself the preceding year according to how much he got triggered during the holiday season. It’s true, you can spend …
Tag: Boundaries
How do I Protect Myself as a Therapist
Do we need protecting from people? Sometimes, I think the answer is definitely yes, and sometimes not. Do I need to protect myself as a therapist? I like to think about this in terms of protective factors. I have been …
What are Core Childhood Needs?
When core needs go unmet, unhealthy coping mechanisms result. This is natural, because a child needs to keep themselves safe and over time, learns how to get their needs met, however they can. For many people, having needs at all …
Some Gentle Reminders
Let me say it again – you are not responsible for someone else’s mental health. To be clear, I am not talking about abuse. If you are verbally, physically, mentally or emotionally abusive, then you ARE responsible. If you are …
Too Much Empathy?
I hear a lot of people in my clinic feel that they are too empathetic. They can feel the other person’s discomfort or pain and just want it to go away. This is the result of a high level of …
What It Means To Be Assertive
Assertiveness is a skill that CAN be learnt. If you grew up in a home where assertiveness was not demonstrated it might be more difficult to understand and have an intuitive feel for it, and that is normal. If you …
The Journey From Passive To Assertive
Being assertive is NOT being bossy or selfish. Being assertive is knowing what you need for self-care and being able to create effective boundaries. It is having the confidence to speak up in the face of injustice. The world needs …
How To Cope With Passive Aggressive People
Let’s not beat around the bush…dealing with passive aggressive people can be REALLY tricky. I know because I grew up with some and I have been one at different times in my life. When someone is being passive aggressive, they …
How To Recognise Passive-Aggressive Behaviour
A lot of passive aggressive communication comes from a difficulty with communicating assertively. It can be difficult for passive aggressive people to communicate things they think might be received negatively. They might find it difficult to: say ‘no’ put boundaries …
How To Be Assertive
Unless you have grown up with healthy role modelling around assertiveness, it is likely this is something you struggle with. I have learnt to be assertive slowly. It was not role modelled for me. I still flip into aggressive (my …