A great formula to remember when setting boundaries is: “I feel _____________ when ______________, and I need ______________________”. Think about the difference between: “You are late again, you don’t care about me, it is so disrespectful” and “I feel disrespected …
Tag: Boundaries
Helpful Self-Talk When Getting Pushback Around Boundaries
Boundaries are a form of self-care and self-love. Once you have set a boundary, the struggle can be maintaining it. Maintaining a boundary takes strength and self-trust. I find if I am not sure about the boundary I have set, …
Affirmations to Help you Set and Maintain Boundaries
Boundaries are part of self-care. They are an expression of love and protection from ourselves, to ourselves. I find that the boundaries I struggle to maintain are the ones that for different reasons, other people don’t like. I find the …
Boundaries with Family Can Sound Like
Your boundaries are for YOU, they are not to change the other person. They are to keep you and your energy safe. Boundaries are healthy. Without boundaries our energy gets drained, we become resentful and angry and we are susceptible …
How to Support Yourself as a ‘Cycle Breaker’
A cycle breaker in a family is someone who consciously chooses to develop different ways of communicating, interacting, living and thinking to their family of origin. This can start at a very young age, knowing early that you just think …
If Old Family Dynamics Get Triggered During the Holiday, Know You Are Not Alone And Be Kind To Yourself
A good friend of mine used to joke that he could always test how much work he had done on himself the preceding year according to how much he got triggered during the holiday season. It’s true, you can spend …
How do I Protect Myself as a Therapist
Do we need protecting from people? Sometimes, I think the answer is definitely yes, and sometimes not. Do I need to protect myself as a therapist? I like to think about this in terms of protective factors. I have been …
Some Gentle Reminders
Let me say it again – you are not responsible for someone else’s mental health. To be clear, I am not talking about abuse. If you are verbally, physically, mentally or emotionally abusive, then you ARE responsible. If you are …
Too Much Empathy?
I hear a lot of people in my clinic feel that they are too empathetic. They can feel the other person’s discomfort or pain and just want it to go away. This is the result of a high level of …