Attachment styles exist on a spectrum. You can be more or less anxious or more or less avoidant in your attachment style. About 80% of distressed couples who go to couple therapy are in the anxious/avoidant dynamic. Have you ever …
Tag: avoidant
The Anxious-Avoidant Dynamic – Can it work?
This is one of the main dynamics that brings couples into therapy. It is the Anxious-Avoidant Cycle. So, what exactly is the Anxious-Avoidant Cycle, how does it work, and how do we perpetuate it? We also tackle the big question: …
Avoidant Experiences
What is Avoidant Attachment? Avoidant attachment refers to a tendency to avoid emotional closeness and dependency on others. Those with this attachment style may have developed self-reliance as a defence mechanism, often suppressing their need for connection. This can make …
Needs and the Avoidantly Attached
You may take pride in lacking needs, which has served as a protective mechanism in the past. You are likely to have developed a strong sense of self-reliance resulting in independence and excellent capabilities. However, does your fear of depending …
Reconnecting with your Feelings for the Avoidantly Attached
When you have the avoidant adaptation, you likely grew up in an environment where it was not okay to have needs or your needs were denied, so you shut them down. As an adult, you may judge yourself as weak …
Reconnecting with your Needs for the Avoidantly Attached
For the avoidant adaptation, reconnecting with your needs, body, and emotions is part of your healing journey. There are many ways to begin to reconnect to the body. Two of the most potent ways I use with my clients are …
The Dance of the Anxious and Avoidant in Conflict
This is the pursuer/withdrawer dynamic identified by Dr Sue Johnson in her brilliant book “Hold Me Tight”. It is the dance of the anxious (pursuer) and the avoidant (withdrawer). I know this dance well because it is one my husband …
Getting in Touch with Your Needs If You Are Avoidantly Attached
Have you ever marvelled at how some people seem to know exactly what they need at any given moment? Do you often feel numb and have no idea? This is one of the traits of the avoidantly attached. The avoidantly …