Abandonment fear is real, and it makes sense. When we have experienced loss as a child in the form of: Neglect Not receiving the love and nurturance we needed Loss of a parent, grandparent, sibling or pet Loss of friends …
Tag: attachment theory
Abandonment Fear Often Comes From Different Types of Childhood Loss
It is possible to work on our abandonment fear. Some powerful tools I have experienced are EMDR, somatic psychotherapy, and inner child work. These are all elements of evidence-based trauma therapy. When we expand the definition of trauma to include …
Our Early Attachment Experience Forms the Template for our Future Relationships
When there has been a consistent, felt experience of safety and connection, a secure attachment forms, and when this has been missing, an insecure attachment is a result. As children, we create adaptive strategies to get our needs met. These …
When Your Mother Uses You For Emotional Support…
Of course, all mothers are in a relationship with their children, and there will be a natural flow of emotional support within any healthy relationship. What I am talking about here is when the amount of emotional support required by …
12 Signs You Have a Mother Wound
Many of us spend years in confusion, anger, and grief about the mother relationship, trying to understand what happened. The relationship with the mother, who is usually the primary caretaker, is the first imprint we receive about how …
Attachment Trauma Can Occur
A holistic approach to trauma defines attachment injury/wounding not as an event or a challenged relationship, but rather as a disruption and overwhelm to our body-mind’s capacity to feel safe, secure, cared for, and consistently connected with. Attachment trauma may …
What is Cycle Breaker?
We all have repeating patterns or ‘cycles’ in our family of origin. It might be repeating patterns of failed marriages, drug and alcohol problems, or family conflict. You become a cycle breaker when you first see the cycle …
Family Secrets
Did you have to hold a secret for an adult in your family or keep a secret from the rest of your family? Keeping secrets in families, especially across generations can be harmful for the family and the holder of …
Biological and Logical Family
Over and over again, I see people who have had to look outside the BIOLOGICAL family unit for affirmation, acceptance, connection and love. Sometimes this is due to physical distance. When children immigrate as adults, they need to build a …
Relational Trauma Requires Relational Healing
We can learn to self-regulate as adults, but this is only part of the process. The other part is the healing that happens in a two-person system – relationally. Relational trauma requires relational healing. The wounds of childhood trauma are …