I just want to let you know that if you haven’t heard from him in 4 days, you are right to feel anxious! That’s a long time. Securely attached people will also find that odd. Even at the beginning of …
You Don’t Have To Feel Broken To See A Therapist.
Working with a therapist and going through a process of self-exploration and change is one of the most empowering experiences we can have. Most people have never been held in a safe, supporting, non-bias space where they can be truly …
How to Give up Being Right and Accept Influence
Research in relationships shows that men find it more difficult than women to accept influence from their partners (see J. Gottman’s research). But, let’s face it, we can all love to win, and we are living in a culture that …
How Having to Be Right Damages your Relationship and What to Do About it.
Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who has to be right all the time? It can be so frustrating. Even when there is evidence that they are wrong, they won’t openly say, “oh, I was wrong”, they …
How Many Days Does It Take to Change a Habit? (According to the Research)
When you ask Google how long it takes to break a habit, you’ll probably land on a number between 21 and 28 days. This number is not grounded in scientific evidence at all. When I have been working on changing …
How to Reconnect After an Argument
We all know that uncomfortable few minutes after a heated discussion. The argument’s energy is hanging in the air, and you are both processing what was said. If your trauma response has been activated, you might be calming your nervous …
How to Self-Soothe
Self-soothing is one of the most important life skills we can learn. So many of us did not learn this vital skill from our parents. They were distracted, absent, or unable to soothe their child because they couldn’t soothe themselves. …
What Causes a Dysregulated Nervous System?
The role of our nervous system is to ensure we survive. If we are under attack, it prepares us to move quickly, and if we are safe, it ensures other bodily functions such as digestion continue. Our parasympathetic nervous system …
No Two children Have The Same Childhood
Is there space for them to BOTH be right? When one sibling remembers neglect, they remember the details and the house’s emotional temperature; that is their experience. That is what they remember. It is true for them.When the other sibling …
69% of Relationship Problems are Unsolvable
According to the Gottman’s (excellent relationship researchers), 69% of relationship conflict is unsolvable. These are perpetual problems that stem from fundamental differences in beliefs or personality. They will be something that you return to as a couple repeatedly and often …