This might sound like: “I’m sorry I didn’t call to let you know I would be late for the show. That was thoughtless of me. Next time I’ll be sure to let you know. Can you forgive me?” Remember, when …
Apologising
Please note that this doesn’t say, “I must apologise all the time to keep the peace.” Owning our part is powerful. Even if we only own a tiny part. Think back to the last time someone owned their part of …
How to Respond to an Apology When It’s Not Okay.
Answering these questions might aid you in finding your next step forward. We all make mistakes. The magic is in the repair. You are allowed some time and space while taking care of yourself and getting clear about your needs. …
5 Components of an Apology – According to the Research
Have you ever had an apology that didn’t feel complete? I know I have. And I have probably given them too. Jennifer Thomas and Gary Chapman asked thousands of American’s what they wanted and needed when they received an apology. …
Breaking the Shame Cycle
Shame is often transmitted through family lines. Parents use shame-based parenting, the children grow up with shame and use shame-based parenting, and the pattern is repeated. Shame is something that comes up in therapy regularly. One of the most powerful …
What To Say If You Made A Mistake Or Regret How You Behaved.
We all mess up from time to time. Remember, it is not the conflict that defines a relationship. The magic is in the repair. How well do you repair? When we have made a mistake, we have usually done something …
5 Proven BENEFITS of Crying
For all the times you have cried and shamed yourself! Here is some permission. Crying is a natural response to many situations. It relieves stress, it effectively self-soothes and brings the parasympathetic nervous system online. It releases oxytocin and endorphins, …
To My Daughter
If children are first conceived in the mind of a parent, then I dreamed you into being at around 5 years old. Holding my toy doll with knitted purple clothing and pretending to feed it a bottle. I felt you …
Complex Trauma and Dysregulation
When you have been raised by parents whose nervous systems are activated and in fight or flight all of the time, you will not have learned co-regulation. Co-regulation happens when one nervous system calms another nervous system down. This would …
The Separation of the Body and the Mind
BOOM! And herein lies a fundamental problem. Enter Descartes in the 17th Century and the idea of the mind and the body being separate, providing the foundation for the biomedical model for the next three centuries. I feel we are …