People with avoidant attachment ARE able to love and be in fulfilling relationships. They subconsciously use avoidance as a way to protect themselves. It is an adaptation developed from childhood as a response to a caregiver (often the mother) who …
Category: Relationships
Tools for those with an Avoidant Attachment Style
The avoidant attachment style grows in children due to a caregiver (often the mother) who is emotionally unavailable and non-attuned to the child’s needs. Over time they suppress their natural desire to be comforted even when they are ill. These …
The Role of Self-Criticism
The antidote to self-criticism is self-compassion. We can learn self-compassion. The outstanding researcher Dr Kristin Neff has broken down self-compassion and has a suite of excellent tools to help increase our self-compassion quota. Compassion and Acceptance is also Module 5 …
How To Be With A Partner Who Is Anxiously Attached
Some common scenarios that come up when you are in a relationship with an anxiously attached partner: You have a busy day at work and couldn’t return his call and have received ten text messages which become more and more …
Avoidant Attachment
Attachment behaviours are the response of children to their primary caregiver (often the mother). With the amount of rapid brain growth occurring throughout childhood, the brain is literally being wired for relationships. With the avoidant attachment style, the mother is …
Ambivalent (Anxious) Attachment
All attachment styles are the child’s response to the mother’s behaviour (or primary caregiver). The child’s brain is being wired in specific directions regarding intimate relationships, based on the primary relationship; with the mother. There can be a few reasons …
Secure Attachment
When a child is securely attached, the child’s emotions are accurately reflected and validated by the primary caregiver (usually the mother). The mother is loving, supportive, attentive, understanding and able to help regulate the child’s emotions and help the world …
What is your Attachment Style?
Up until the age of two, our brain is growing at a furious rate. The neurons are connecting, and the brain is being wired, literally. In the relationship with our primary caregiver (usually the mother), we are being wired for …
Why Attachment Matters
IS THIS THE REASON YOU STRUGGLE IN YOUR INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS? As children, we are like sponges. Our brain grows to 80% of its adult size by the time we are two! At times the neurons are growing at a rate …
How to Build Trust
Trust is built in the small moments. We learn over time if the person we are with is trustworthy so when we face big things as a couple, there is a foundation of trust. We know our partner will tell …