You might have grown up with a roof over your head and three meals a day with your two parents. You might look back at your childhood and think, “Okay, I was alone a lot, and my family weren’t very ‘touch-feely’, but I was never abused or hurt.”
You might not have been abused or hurt, but were you shown what attunement and love FEEL like? Did you grow up feeling important in your family? Did you feel that someone was there for you when you needed support?
If you grow up without that felt sense of love, attunement, and support, you learn to care for yourself. You learn that you can’t depend on others to be there for you, and you stop reaching out for connection.
This can lead to an avoidant attachment pattern later in intimate adult relationships.
Know that working with your attachment styles can help you become more secure. Starting therapy with someone who understands this adaptation can be life-changing.
I love working with avoidant attachment because the healing journey involves gentle opening and building trust internally and externally.
It is one of the gifts of being a therapist to witness the building of internal secure attachment and to witness that security rolling out into other relationships.
Have a great weekend, Jen
