Why You Find Caregiving Exhausting as a Parentified Child

As a parentified child, one of the ways you received love and acceptance was through caring for your siblings and/or parents. This may have been expressed as a compulsion as an adult, which may have contributed to moving naturally into caring professions like teaching, nursing, aged care, or counseling, or always being the peacekeeper in family conflicts.

Because the behaviour becomes a compulsion, it can be hard to switch off. You might find yourself spending hours on the phone at night soothing your stressed mother or staying back late, without pay, to care for people at work. Over time, this leads to BURNOUT.

When working with a compulsion, we need to look at boundaries. 

Some questions to journal:

  • Is this relationship balanced? Do I get as much from it as I give?
  • If there is an imbalance, how can I redress this?
  • Can I love myself if I stop over-caring?
  • What might my energy levels look like if I have better boundaries?

 Let me know if you receive any insights.

Love Jen