Why Does Ghosting Hurt?

Ghosting hurts because you have an emotional investment in the relationship, full stop. 

It might be a complete shock to realise that your partner doesn’t have the same emotional investment.

Interestingly, for most of you on yesterday’s story that asked how ghosting made you feel, the most common answer was CONFUSED, followed by hurt and angry.

It is natural to feel confused when there is a lack of communication and clarity about what is happening in a relationship. 

When asked as a community, ‘Why did you ghost?’ the answers were more varied; people didn’t see a future, felt attacked and unheard, boundaries being violated, being gaslighted, not knowing how to handle the situation, intuitively knowing the person was bad news, they were too toxic, they were too clingy, I couldn’t face my feelings, ghosting was my easy way out, I was too scared to leave.

Ghosting often hurts more when we have unresolved relational issues from our past. Maybe you were cheated on by your first true love and still feel the pain of that betrayal. Perhaps you were abandoned by a parent at a young age and know you still fear being abandoned as an adult. 

These triggers can present an opportunity for healing if you decide now is the time to address them. You might choose to get curious and wonder, where have I felt pain like this before? It could lead you forward on your healing journey.

Wherever you are on your healing journey, take care of yourself.

Love, Jen