Tag: Trauma

HOW TO REDUCE HYPERAROUSAL When you have gone into hyperarousal, which is a fight or flight response, there are a few things you can try to bring yourself into the window of tolerance or back into a state of calm. Here’s one to try. First, take a pause and go somewhere quiet if you can. Then notice the signs of activation in your body, your racing heart, and sweaty palms, then find a felt sense of groundedness in your body and focus on it. This might take a moment, be patient with yourself. Know that you are going to be okay. You are just activated, your body has gone into a trauma response, and you are being with yourself while you return to your window of tolerance.

How to Reduce Hyperarousal

September 7, 2022

Hyperarousal is when excessive energy is expressed as anxiety, panic, feeling out of control and wanting to run away. It is challenging to relax when this happens as our body has gone into fight or flight mode. It is difficult …

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Self-Betrayal: Neglecting Your Needs When you have grown up in an environment where your needs were not met or ignored, you learned to disconnect from them. As an adult, this has created one of two situations: You don’t know what you need You know what you need, but you push it down and ignore it, believing you are not as important as the people around you.

Self-Betrayal: Neglecting Your Needs

August 24, 2022

Being scared of your needs is NORMAL when you have grown up in an environment where it was not okay or safe to ask for your needs to be met. Know that you CAN shift this pattern. You CAN reconnect …

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Warning Signs of Suicide

Warning Signs of Suicide

August 23, 2022

Warning signs are important. Know what to look for and reach out if in doubt. We often think that most suicides are caused by a one-off event, maybe a relationship break-up, the loss of a career or public shaming. In …

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Suicide and its causes

Suicide and its Causes

August 23, 2022

I read a book about 29 survivors who had all attempted suicide by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge. ALL of them regretted their decision to jump AS SOON AS THEY JUMPED.  In another article, Dr Freedenthal found that of …

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Statistics of Suicide in Australia 8 Australians die every day from suicide – that is more than DOUBLE the road toll Suicide is the LEADING cause of death in people 15-44 75% are male 65,000 people attempt suicide annually People in rural populations are 2 times more likely to die to suicide For each person we lose to suicide, 135 people are impacted. Same-gender attracted Australians are estimated to experience up to 14 times higher rates of suicide attempts.

Statistics of Suicide in Australia

August 23, 2022

When I look at these statistics, I feel really sad. If suicide rates can be taken to be somehow reflective of how we are doing as a community in the area of mental health, then we are failing.  If anyone …

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If we grew up prioritising others’ needs, we will find caregiving and parenting exhausting and feel guilty when we take any time out.

Why You Find Caregiving Exhausting as a Parentified Child

July 30, 2022

As a parentified child, one of the ways you received love and acceptance was through caring for your siblings and/or parents. This may have been expressed as a compulsion as an adult, which may have contributed to moving naturally into …

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Parentification in action - Parentification has been referred to as an INVISIBLE childhood trauma.

Parentification in Action

July 30, 2022

You might find this interesting! A study of 783 university students into the links between parentification and later adult wellness showed those who experienced parentification have an increased risk of depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and substance abuse (Hooper, Marotta, & …

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When we have emotionally immature parents

When We Have Emotionally Immature Parents

July 30, 2022

Let’s start with emotionally immature parents. Your parents were emotionally immature because THEIR parents were emotionally immature. Emotional maturity is passed through family lines. If we are raised by people who know how to have healthy boundaries, self-regulate, have functional, …

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Blue tile with the words" What is Complex PTSD?"

What is Complex PTSD?

July 30, 2022

Complex trauma refers to a child’s continued exposure to traumatic events, which are often interpersonal and intrusive. This could be physical abuse, neglect, or attachment issues with the primary caregiver. When a child is abused or neglected, attachment issues occur. …

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We all have different parts of ourselves. Let’s say I’m at home in my PJs, and a friend calls and invites me to a bar. Part of me thinks, yes, sounds great, let's go! And the other part says, “no, I want to stay home in my PJs and watch a movie”. Reparenting is making space for the child ego state to be heard and validated. As we do this, we naturally start to access and develop our loving, functional inner mother/father to lovingly parent the child during moments of present-day or remembered stress and trauma. So the essence of reparenting is helping the loving part of self-care for the wounded part of the self. It’s some of the most transformative work I’ve done.

What is Reparenting?

June 26, 2022

When we have experienced neglect, abuse, invalidation, narcissism, conflict or violence as children, as adults, there is still part of us that is expecting the same behaviour from those we love. We learn that love looks and feels like conflict, …

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