Nathanson (1992) presents a fabulous tool to show us how shame shows up. When we look at the middle axis of withdrawal and avoidance, we see two different behaviours. With withdrawal, there is hiding and disconnection. We know from research …
Tag: Trauma
Shame & Disconnection
“Shame is a painful emotion that is created because of a sense of failure to meet a certain standard. It sounds like: “I’m a failure, I’m a terrible person, I’m useless”. They are absolute statements about the self that make …
Indications of Hypoarousal
It is difficult for healing to occur when we are in hypo or hyper arousal. We need to be within our ‘window of tolerance’ where the prefrontal cortex is switched on, and our cognition is online. Different self-regulation tools can …
How to Reduce Hyperarousal
Hyperarousal is when excessive energy is expressed as anxiety, panic, feeling out of control and wanting to run away. It is challenging to relax when this happens as our body has gone into fight or flight mode. It is difficult …
Self-Betrayal: Neglecting Your Needs
Being scared of your needs is NORMAL when you have grown up in an environment where it was not okay or safe to ask for your needs to be met. Know that you CAN shift this pattern. You CAN reconnect …
Warning Signs of Suicide
Warning signs are important. Know what to look for and reach out if in doubt. We often think that most suicides are caused by a one-off event, maybe a relationship break-up, the loss of a career or public shaming. In …
Suicide and its Causes
I read a book about 29 survivors who had all attempted suicide by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge. ALL of them regretted their decision to jump AS SOON AS THEY JUMPED. In another article, Dr Freedenthal found that of …
Statistics of Suicide in Australia
When I look at these statistics, I feel really sad. If suicide rates can be taken to be somehow reflective of how we are doing as a community in the area of mental health, then we are failing. If anyone …
Why You Find Caregiving Exhausting as a Parentified Child
As a parentified child, one of the ways you received love and acceptance was through caring for your siblings and/or parents. This may have been expressed as a compulsion as an adult, which may have contributed to moving naturally into …
Parentification in Action
You might find this interesting! A study of 783 university students into the links between parentification and later adult wellness showed those who experienced parentification have an increased risk of depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and substance abuse (Hooper, Marotta, & …