Rupture and repair were not done well in my family. When I look at my grandparents, it’s easy to see why. We tend to repeat what we learn. As an adult, I had to learn to have difficult conversations and …
Tag: Repair
A Tool For Repair
The added bonus with this is that your kids learn by example. When they see you have a re-do, they learn that they can and will make mistakes, and it really is okay because there is a way to repair …
Why Warriors Lie Down and Die
This book, Why Warriors Lie Down and Die, has changed my life. It was recommended to me by someone who grew up in the Northern Territory with Aboriginal people. It answers many of the questions people have when they say …
What To Say If You Made A Mistake Or Regret How You Behaved.
We all make mistakes. The magic is in the repair. Sometimes it is hard to find the words to start. I hope you find these helpful. Love to all, Jen
How SHAME Can Stop People Apologising:
Everyone has a different relationship with shame, depending mainly on how they were raised. Shame says, “I’m a terrible person”, and guilt says, “I did a terrible thing.” When you have DONE something wrong, you can repair it. When you …
4 Step Apology
This might sound like: “I’m sorry I didn’t call to let you know I would be late for the show. That was thoughtless of me. Next time I’ll be sure to let you know. Can you forgive me?” Remember, when …
Apologising
Please note that this doesn’t say, “I must apologise all the time to keep the peace.” Owning our part is powerful. Even if we only own a tiny part. Think back to the last time someone owned their part of …
What To Say If You Made A Mistake Or Regret How You Behaved.
We all mess up from time to time. Remember, it is not the conflict that defines a relationship. The magic is in the repair. How well do you repair? When we have made a mistake, we have usually done something …
11 Signs you are Growing Apart
Relationships take work. They need to be fed and nurtured in order to remain satisfying for both parties. Often the process of drifting apart is gradual. When we find ourselves growing apart, we need to decide if we are going …
How to Reconnect After an Argument
We all know that uncomfortable few minutes after a heated discussion. The argument’s energy is hanging in the air, and you are both processing what was said. If your trauma response has been activated, you might be calming your nervous …