This attachment style is a combination of the previous two (avoidant and ambivalent/anxious). Disorganised children give inconsistent responses in the presence of their primary caregiver due to inconsistent behaviour from the parent. Sometimes the parent is a safe and supportive …
Tag: relationship advice
Tools for those with an Avoidant Attachment Style
The avoidant attachment style grows in children due to a caregiver (often the mother) who is emotionally unavailable and non-attuned to the child’s needs. Over time they suppress their natural desire to be comforted even when they are ill. These …
How To Be With A Partner Who Is Anxiously Attached
Some common scenarios that come up when you are in a relationship with an anxiously attached partner: You have a busy day at work and couldn’t return his call and have received ten text messages which become more and more …
How to Build Trust
Trust is built in the small moments. We learn over time if the person we are with is trustworthy so when we face big things as a couple, there is a foundation of trust. We know our partner will tell …
6 Unrealistic Relationship Expectations
We come into most intimate relationships with a long list of conscious and unconscious expectations. Some gathered from the movies and totally unrealistic and some gathered from our lived experience and parents and unhealthy. Any robust relationship requires work from …
Can Conflict Become A Way For a Couple To Connect?
Conflict provides an opportunity for a deeper connection. Most of us are not taught this. We are taught that conflict is scary and to be avoided. We might have learnt from our family of origin that conflict results in physical …
69% of Relationship Problems are Unsolvable
According to the Gottman’s (excellent relationship researchers), 69% of relationship conflict is unsolvable. These are perpetual problems that stem from fundamental differences in beliefs or personality. They will be something that you return to as a couple repeatedly and often …
Something to AVOID the Next Time You Are in An Argument
When we build up resentments in a relationship, it is common that they will come pouring out during an argument. You start with a complaint about how they leave their clothes on the floor, they become defensive, and to prove …
A ‘Cycle Breaker’ is Someone in your Family Who…
Generational patterns repeat through a family because people tend to parent how they were parented. Being the ‘cycle breaker’ in a family is not an easy role. It is often not chosen by the person concerned. It is a deep …