Anxious attachment is a healthy adaptation. All behaviour, when viewed through the lens of your history, makes sense. Always. As children, when met with inconsistency in our caregivers are faced with two choices. Either stay close to the carer and …
Tag: Psychotherapy
Heal Your Anxious Attachment: Pre Order Now
The book is finished after a year of writing it. The cover is designed, the typesetting has been done, and I have the final galley (as they say in publishing). So what’s next? Take it to India to receive the …
Anxious Attachment and People Pleasing
If attachment anxiety resonates with you, let me know in the comments. When attachment anxiety takes hold, the instinct to people please and prioritize the needs of others over your own can take over. This behavior is understandable because of …
Recording for my Book, Heal Your Anxious Attachment
A day in the studio recording 20 pages of practices for my upcoming book “Heal Your Anxious Attachment”, landing 1st Feb 2024. When I record the practices, I do them at the same time. It helps to anchor the energy …
No Bad Parts – Everything you need to know about Internal Family Systems (IFS)
No Bad Parts is the name of Richard Schwartz’s book on Internal Family Systems (IFS). In it he describes the foundation of his modality and how it works. All parts need and deserve love, compassion and understanding. They are all …
”Outside-In” Referencing for the Anxiously Attached
If you resonate with this pattern of outside-in referencing, let me know in the comments. It is one of the indications of anxious attachment. love Jen x P.s. If you feel anxious in relationships, I have a book coming out …
The 5 Stages of a relationship
Reminder: it is NORMAL to have conflict in a relationship. Excellent relationship researchers, the Gottman’s, discovered that it was not the number of disputes that determined if a relationship was robust or not, but how the couple resolved the conflict.Notice …
6 Best Trauma Books From A Licensed Therapist
Over the years, I have collected a few – these are the stand-outs. Notice that there is a lot of Peter Levine, the founder of Somatic Experiencing. His books contain deep insight into the nature of trauma and how to …
How to Work with Shame
Nathanson (1992) presents a fabulous tool to show us how shame shows up. When we look at the middle axis of withdrawal and avoidance, we see two different behaviours. With withdrawal, there is hiding and disconnection. We know from research …
How are Highly Sensitive People VALUED in Western Culture
Reading Elaine Aron’s wonderful book “The Highly Sensitive Person”, I came across this research. The study highlighted the differing traits that made children more popular in different cultures. It revealed Chinese children to naturally value shyness more than Canadian children. …