It can be SO difficult to actually listen to your partner when you are in the middle of an argument. All too often, we block ourselves from seeing their point of view because we feel we will be agreeing with …
Tag: psychotherapy
Shock Trauma or Complex Trauma?
You might be surprised to know there are different kinds of trauma. Our ability to recover from trauma depends partly on the KIND of trauma we have experienced. When we have experienced a shock trauma, psychological distress in the form …
How Close Can I Safely Get?
We all have a subconscious distance in a relationship that we are comfortable with. If we are further away than that distance, we won’t feel comfortable, or if we are closer than that distance, we won’t feel comfortable, and we …
The Trauma-Informed Perspective
Being ‘trauma informed’ is essentially the skill of pausing before making a judgement and thinking why this behaviour might be happening, given someone’s personal history. Roughly 8% of people will have PTSD in their lifetime, so the likelihood of working …
How to End The Cycle of Repeating Arguments
Have you found yourself in a relationship arguing about the same thing over and over with no resolution? If your answer is yes, you are not alone. Research has found that 69% of couples’ areas of disagreement are about UNRESOLVABLE …
How to Recognise a SECURE PERSON if you Have Grown Up in Chaos
This video is in response to a lot of questions I get about recognising securely attached people. First, it IS challenging to recognise secure people when you have grown up in chaos. There is no template for what secure and …
When you block your feelings as a child, to keep yourself safe, you might grow up not knowing who you are
In some environments, children have to block their feelings. Imagine being terrorised in your home, being with someone, a mother, father, sibling, who enjoys seeing fear in you. In these circumstances, it is an act of self-preservation to block your …
Attachment Wounds CAN Come From Adult Relationships
Attachment wounds don’t only come from your childhood, they can also be formed in adulthood. Remember that attachment wounds are relational wounds. This means that they happened in a relationship with another person. When we are hurt deeply enough for …
Male and Female Archetypes
What do you think about this idea of your mother as being the first archetypal woman and your father, the first archetypal man in your life? It makes sense that we would organise our expectations around these roles and archetypes …
Are You Stuck in Pattern Repeat?
When we are growing up, we get used to the relational distance between us and our caregivers. We chose a distance that feels safe. We do whatever we need to do to maintain the ‘safe distance’, close enough where I …