If you grew up in an emotionally unstable environment, you would have learned to watch for any little thing that might set them off. You learn to do things perfectly to avoid being shouted at or punished. You learn to …
Tag: psychotherapy
What is Attachment Anxiety?
Attachment anxiety is when we learn as children that we can’t depend on the adults around us, so we adapt our behaviour to suit the situation we are experiencing in that relationship to stay alive, fed and loved. One adaptation …
How to Stop Catastrophising
I grew up with anxiety around me. It was in the air, in the voices of the adults around me. I know anxiety well. Anxiety still visits me when I have an interview, when I have to do a video …
Reversing The Cycle of Anxiety
At its core, anxiety is worrying about something that MIGHT happen. We scan the environment for threats and gauge ourselves to see if we will be able to cope with the threat. When you feel your anxiety, you decide that …
The Power of ‘Parts’ Work
Parts work is used in MANY research-based psychotherapeutic modalities; EMDR, Schema Therapy, IFS (Internal Family Systems), Transactional Analysis, Gestalt, Narrative Therapy, and more. It is used in so many modalities because it works. I find that it creates a distance …
When You ‘Act Out’, It Might Be Your Inner Child Trying To Protect You
If it wasn’t safe to connect with your parents when you were a child, it makes sense that connecting with people as an adult will be scary to your inner child. One part of you might feel safe, but …
The Process of Reconnecting with your Needs.
If you grew up with a caregiver, who was not attuned to your needs, who put their needs before yours, over time, you learn to deny your needs. It can then be difficult to identify your needs as an adult …
Cyle Breakers Will Often Be Shamed In Their Family
There are many subtle ways the cycle breaker is shamed in the family; I hope the list above is helpful in spotting some of the behaviours. A big thank you to my Instagram community for adding to this list. …
Identifying Your Needs If You Are Avoidantly Attached
Have you ever marvelled at how some people seem to know exactly what they need at any given moment? Do you often feel numb and have no idea? This is one of the traits of the avoidantly attached. The avoidantly …
A secure Home Base
When I was training to be a psychotherapist, I was not taught about co-regulation. I was taught about theories, CBT, existential practice, narrative therapy, person-centred therapy. I mainly was taught to listen deeply. To become aware of the parts of …