We all have a story surrounding our relationship with feelings. We might have learnt that feelings are dangerous if we grew up with dysregulated parents or that feelings are shameful if we grew up with parents who were disconnected from …
Tag: psychotherapy
Retraumatization in Target Groups
Phase 1 of the trauma healing work is called ‘safety and stabilization’. During this phase of the work, we are helping the client to create safety in their inner and outer lives. This work is difficult when there are genuine …
Unresolved Experiences
This is called a ‘ stopped process’ in the somatic (bodywork) I use with my clients. This is when an experience is so overwhelming that we cannot integrate it when it happens, and the event’s energy gets ‘stuck’ in the …
Disrupted Attachment Styles
As adults, this can be incredibly confusing. You might wonder what is wrong with you. You know that you haven’t experienced maltreatment as a child (not that you can remember). Okay, it wasn’t perfect, but it wasn’t that bad either. …
How To Be Heard When You Feel Criticised
It can be SO difficult to actually listen to your partner when you are in the middle of an argument. All too often, we block ourselves from seeing their point of view because we feel we will be agreeing with …
Shock Trauma or Complex Trauma?
You might be surprised to know there are different kinds of trauma. Our ability to recover from trauma depends partly on the KIND of trauma we have experienced. When we have experienced a shock trauma, psychological distress in the form …
How Close Can I Safely Get?
We all have a subconscious distance in a relationship that we are comfortable with. If we are further away than that distance, we won’t feel comfortable, or if we are closer than that distance, we won’t feel comfortable, and we …
The Trauma-Informed Perspective
Being ‘trauma informed’ is essentially the skill of pausing before making a judgement and thinking why this behaviour might be happening, given someone’s personal history. Roughly 8% of people will have PTSD in their lifetime, so the likelihood of working …
How to End The Cycle of Repeating Arguments
Have you found yourself in a relationship arguing about the same thing over and over with no resolution? If your answer is yes, you are not alone. Research has found that 69% of couples’ areas of disagreement are about UNRESOLVABLE …
How to Recognise a SECURE PERSON if you Have Grown Up in Chaos
This video is in response to a lot of questions I get about recognising securely attached people. First, it IS challenging to recognise secure people when you have grown up in chaos. There is no template for what secure and …