You might find yourself being proud of your lack of needs. In the past, it has kept you safe. You have learned to rely on yourself to meet your own needs. This can create independent and highly capable people. But …
Tag: Needs
The Process of Reconnecting with your Needs.
If you grew up with a caregiver, who was not attuned to your needs, who put their needs before yours, over time, you learn to deny your needs. It can then be difficult to identify your needs as an adult …
Communicating Your Needs
How do I ask for what I need? The most important part is KNOWING what you need. Often, we are not really clear about what our needs are. They get mixed up in the jumble of what we DON’T want. …
Protest Behaviours
Protest behaviours are ways of communicating. They have either been role modelled in your family of origin, or you have adapted them to stay safe in some way. For example, you might have witnessed your mother get angry about your …
Communicating Needs
BE HONEST – don’t hide your real needs for fear of being rejected, if you are rejected, this is a great indication you are not going to be happy in this relationship long term. If you are honest and accepted, …
Some Valid Needs
Knowing our needs can be difficult when we have been taught that our needs are not important or should be placed after everyone else’s needs. This is a type of trauma. We are being separated from our most basic instinct, …
When To Take A Break During A Difficult Conversation:
According to the Gottman’s, 69% of relationship arguments are unsolvable, so it no surprise that they can cause so much frustration. Have you ever been in a situation where you are both feeling unheard, misunderstood and you are both starting …
Communicating Needs Without Losing it.
When we ask for something, we risk being and feeling rejected. We are vulnerable. To cover that vulnerability, many of us will use anger or force. How can I ask for what I need and hold onto the part of …
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs
In 1943 Maslow presented his ‘Hierarchy of Needs’, a model of how humans are motivated. He suggested that we move our psyche and our whole being towards something that he called ‘self-actualisation’ (Maslow, A. A Theory of Human Motivation, 1943). …
Why do you Avoid Being Assertive?
There are many reasons people avoid being assertive. I find the two biggest reasons are: ‘The other person will be upset’ (conflict avoidance) and ‘I have no idea how to do it’. Let’s take ‘The other person will be …