Rupture and repair were not done well in my family. When I look at my grandparents, it’s easy to see why. We tend to repeat what we learn. As an adult, I had to learn to have difficult conversations and …
Tag: Cycle breaker
Help…We Both Have Traumatic Childhoods!
Coming from a CPTSD background does not mean your relationship is doomed. I would highly recommend working with a therapist to support you as you move into deeper intimacy and help you structure secure attachment bonds. A wonderful modality to …
Soothing Others
An additional struggle is that when your partner needs soothing, you are unsure how to give it. You might want to provide soothing support but miss the mark. This is common when you have not received it or feel it …
Why I use EFT
In EFT, the therapist acts as the secure attachment figure for both people in the relationship and role models compassionate listening until the couple feels safe enough to use each other as that secure home base. The therapist guides each …
Recording The Audio For “Healing Your Anxious Attachment”
I started the 5-day recording process today at a studio in North Sydney. After learning to speed read as a teenager, it is interesting to see how many words and letters I don’t see. My brain seems to sort them …
How to Support Yourself as a ‘Cycle Breaker’
A cycle breaker in a family is someone who consciously chooses to develop different ways of communicating, interacting, living, and thinking to their family of origin. This can start at a very young age, knowing early that you just think …
How Are Cycle Breakers Shamed in Their Family?
There are often comments which, when boiled down, ask, “Why can’t you just be more like us?” When cycle breakers emerge, the resistance is usually overt AND covert. Overt in the things said to you and covert in the things …
10 Signs You Have a Father Wound
Much of the mental health and psychology literature has focused on the mother and the mother’s attachment. But what about our fathers? As children, we need a healthy father figure. It doesn’t have to be a biological father. It could …
12 Signs You Have a Mother Wound
Many of us spend years in confusion, anger, and grief about the mother relationship, trying to make sense of what happened. The relationship with the mother, who is usually the primary caretaker, is the first imprint we receive about …
Is It Possible To Change My Attachment Style?
Up until age two, our brain is growing at a furious rate. The neurons are connecting, and the brain is being wired, literally. In the relationship with our primary caregiver (usually the mother), we are being wired for relationship. If …