Have you ever wondered why you end up fighting your partner over and over again about the same thing, a different situation, but the same topic? Let’s take a typical example, money. It might be that in your relationship, you …
Tag: communication
When We Are Driven By Obligation Not Values
If you value your relationship with your mother and she wants you to call daily, but you find it exhausting, what do you do? I like to look under the request to explore what is REALLY there. What is it …
Conflict in Relationships
Can you talk things through without one of you storming out? Can you communicate without shouting? Do you feel safe in the conflict? If not, do you feel unsafe physically? Why? Are you being threatened? Do they go to hit …
Unrealistic Expectations in Relationships
This can be a painful one because it can be a trigger from childhood if you felt misunderstood by your family. Your partner is not likely to understand all of your feelings all of the time. Maybe you don’t either! …
Reasons why we might avoid being assertive
There are many reasons people avoid being assertive. I find the two biggest reasons are: ‘The other person will be upset’ (conflict avoidance) and ‘I have no idea how to do it’. Let’s take ‘The other person will be …
Cycle Breaker Phases
If you know you have cycles to break, you will LOVE my flagship course, ‘Relationship Cycle Breaker’. Stay safe, Love, Jen
Finding Connection Through Conflict
Conflict provides an opportunity for a deeper connection. Most of us are not taught this. We are taught that conflict is scary and to be avoided. We might have learnt from our family of origin that conflict results in physical …
The Need To Be Right Can Be Damaging To Your Relationship
As the recipient, you have a choice to keep arguing back and prove your point, with the knowledge that you will never be right, so you are fighting a losing battle or giving in. Neither seems very appealing in the …
Unsolvable Relationship Conflicts
According to the Gottman’s (excellent relationship researchers), 69% of relationship conflict is unsolvable. These are perpetual problems that stem from fundamental differences in beliefs or personality. They will be something that you return to as a couple repeatedly and often …
Emotional Awareness Supports Our Relationships
Is this easy? Hell no, as Brene would say. It goes against our wiring, especially if we have a trauma history; the impulse to get away can be overpowering. The power is ‘in the pause’. When we can pause and …