In many intimate relationships, especially with friends and partners, we get used to them doing certain things and playing certain roles in our lives. When those people decide they need to stop doing those things or playing those roles, it …
Tag: Boundaries
Reasons You Might Be Struggling to Set Boundaries with Family
Boundaries are an act of self-love and are part of healthy self-care. As we grow older, it is natural that we need different boundaries with our family to those that were suitable as a child. This means that even in …
Skilful and Unskilful Boundary Setting
A great formula to remember when setting boundaries is: “I feel _____________ when ______________, and I need ______________________”. Think about the difference between: “You are late again, you don’t care about me, it is so disrespectful” and “I feel disrespected …
Helpful Self-Talk When Getting Pushback Around Boundaries
Boundaries are a form of self-care and self-love. Once you have set a boundary, the struggle can be maintaining it. Maintaining a boundary takes strength and self-trust. I find if I am not sure about the boundary I have set, …
Affirmations to Help you Set and Maintain Boundaries
Boundaries are part of self-care. They are an expression of love and protection from ourselves, to ourselves. I find that the boundaries I struggle to maintain are the ones that for different reasons, other people don’t like. I find the …
Boundaries with Family Can Sound Like
Your boundaries are for YOU, they are not to change the other person. They are to keep you and your energy safe. Boundaries are healthy. Without boundaries our energy gets drained, we become resentful and angry and we are susceptible …
How to Support Yourself as a ‘Cycle Breaker’
A cycle breaker in a family is someone who consciously chooses to develop different ways of communicating, interacting, living and thinking to their family of origin. This can start at a very young age, knowing early that you just think …
If Old Family Dynamics Get Triggered During the Holiday, Know You Are Not Alone And Be Kind To Yourself
A good friend of mine used to joke that he could always test how much work he had done on himself the preceding year according to how much he got triggered during the holiday season. It’s true, you can spend …
How do I Protect Myself as a Therapist
Do we need protecting from people? Sometimes, I think the answer is definitely yes, and sometimes not. Do I need to protect myself as a therapist? I like to think about this in terms of protective factors. I have been …
What are Core Childhood Needs?
When core needs go unmet, unhealthy coping mechanisms result. This is natural, because a child needs to keep themselves safe and over time, learns how to get their needs met, however they can. For many people, having needs at all …