Tag: Boundaries

9 SIMPLE TIPS TO MANAGE YOUR STRESS

9 Simple Tips To Manage Your Stress

May 12, 2021

What do you do to self-soothe when you are stressed? Do you pick up a drink? Do you find yourself in front of the cupboard tucking into a whole packet of dark chocolate McVities Digestives (for the Brits reading this)?  …

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Signs Of Emotional Exhaustion You are struggling to set boundaries You are fulfilling obligations to your detriment You get angry quickly You don’t have time or energy for anything You find yourself complaining a lot You feel physically exhausted You just want to sleep and for it to all go away You feel hopeless You lack focus and/or purpose

Signs Of Emotional Exhaustion

May 4, 2021

We have all been there. When we feel like there is no more to give, to ourselves or anyone else. We are burnt out, and emotionally exhausted. When this happens for me, I know it is a big shout out …

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You think you will be judged or rejected You assume the other person will be upset You doubt the validity of your needs You avoid potentially uncomfortable situations and conflict You lack the skills to communicate assertively

Why do you Avoid Being Assertive?

April 13, 2021

There are many reasons people avoid being assertive. I find the two biggest reasons are:⁣ ‘The other person will be upset’ (conflict avoidance) and ‘I have no idea how to do it’. ⁣ Let’s take ‘The other person will be …

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When we have 'too much empathy, it is usually a boundary issue, not an empathy issue'. It is the result of a high level of emotional enmeshment.

When we have ‘too much empathy, it is usually a boundary issue, not an empathy issue’. It is the result of a high level of emotional enmeshment.

April 13, 2021

I hear a lot of people in my clinic feel that they are too empathetic. They can feel the other person’s discomfort or pain and just want it to go away. ⁣This is the result of a high level of …

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What does abandoning yourself in an argument look like Your partner wants you to go to a casual work lunch, but you have a headache and don't feel like it. He feels uncomfortable for you to stay home because the food has been paid for. So you go, but you feel resentful and uncared for because you think he is prioritising the money for the food over your wellbeing. Your partner doesn't trust you with other men and argues that you would give him your social media passwords if there were nothing to hide. Nothing is going on, and you don't want him to have your passwords, but it feels easier than his constant jealousy. You give him the passwords and abandon yourself.

What Does Abandoning Yourself in an Argument Look Like

March 29, 2021

Sometimes, we only find out that we should have stood our ground more firmly AFTER the fact. It isn’t until we are sat at the work lunch, with a pounding head, having to make polite conversation, that it is obvious …

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Are you Using These 9 Tips to Consciously Create Your Life?

Are you Using These 9 Tips to Consciously Create Your Life?

February 9, 2021

When we start our healing journey, we move from a state of lack of awareness into a place of awareness. Awareness of how we think, speak, act, and impact others and our environment.  As we become more aware, it is …

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Ideas for Managing In-LawsWork at having a unified front; your loyalty needs to be with your partner Remember, they might feel like they are losing their child, and control over their child Remember they have a different family culture to you, it’s not wrong, just different Communication as a couple, directly with them, not through a sibling or someone else Manage your expectations; they might not be able to live up to them Talk about the role you want your in-laws to have Have clear boundaries If there is an issue with a wife’s mother-in-law, her husband needs to step in to help and vice versa When two family cultures come together, some level of compromise on both sides is healthy

Ideas for Managing In-Laws

February 9, 2021

This is a personal one…for me, point 3, ‘manage your expectations’ was a huge learning with my in-laws. I grew up with basically six people in my family; my mum, dad, sister, nan, and grandad (my mother’s parents), and we …

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Boundaries with In-Laws I appreciate that you are worried about your son, but I prefer it if you speak to him directly. I know that you come and go from your daughter’s house, but we would prefer you to call ahead before you visit. I am a new mother, and I must have space to do it my way. We are new parents with a different parenting philosophy to you. We want you to be involved with the kids, but we would appreciate the space to parent our way. I understand that you disagree with some of your son’s choices, but he is an adult and will ask for advice if he needs it. Your son has enough love for both of us. Remember: With in-laws, it is important to be aligned with your partner. Ultimately, it is their family, and they should take the lead.

Boundaries with In-Laws

February 5, 2021

I have received many DMs about this, the struggle to merge two different families with differing expectations, norms, and values. The critical thing to remember with in-laws is to have a united front with your partner. This is where I …

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Boundaries at Work My team won’t have that done by this afternoon; I can have it done by lunch tomorrow. I am already at capacity. If I am to do this by lunchtime, what would you like me to let go of? Having daily downtime is good for mental health, so I will not check work emails after 7 pm I will not be available while I am on holiday I need to rest on the weekend, so I won’t be checking work emails. I WILL stay congruent with my values at work

Boundaries at Work

February 2, 2021

Like boundaries with family, boundaries at work can be incredibly tricky, especially if you have a boss pushing you to do more when you are already at capacity. With work, the ultimate threat is that you will be fired, which …

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Dating Boundaries I enjoy kissing, but not in public I am comfortable with intimate touch, but I’m not ready for more yet I am not comfortable sending nudes I love spending a day with you at the weekend, but not both days I like to text in the morning or evening, but not all-day I am ready for us to define our relationship I need us to have important conversations in person or on a video call, not text I won’t be available to talk after 10 pm When we go out, I like to split the bill or take turns

Dating Boundaries

February 2, 2021

Dating boundaries are important because they reflect the kinds of boundaries we have in other parts of our lives. If our boundaries are non-existent in the beginning, it can be challenging to re-instate them later on.  Dating boundaries can be …

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