Tag: Boundaries

When we have 'too much empathy, it is usually a boundary issue, not an empathy issue'. It is the result of a high level of emotional enmeshment.

When we have ‘too much empathy, it is usually a boundary issue, not an empathy issue’. It is the result of a high level of emotional enmeshment.

April 13, 2021

I hear a lot of people in my clinic feel that they are too empathetic. They can feel the other person’s discomfort or pain and just want it to go away. ⁣This is the result of a high level of …

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What does abandoning yourself in an argument look like Your partner wants you to go to a casual work lunch, but you have a headache and don't feel like it. He feels uncomfortable for you to stay home because the food has been paid for. So you go, but you feel resentful and uncared for because you think he is prioritising the money for the food over your wellbeing. Your partner doesn't trust you with other men and argues that you would give him your social media passwords if there were nothing to hide. Nothing is going on, and you don't want him to have your passwords, but it feels easier than his constant jealousy. You give him the passwords and abandon yourself.

What Does Abandoning Yourself in an Argument Look Like

March 29, 2021

Sometimes, we only find out that we should have stood our ground more firmly AFTER the fact. It isn’t until we are sat at the work lunch, with a pounding head, having to make polite conversation, that it is obvious …

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Are you Using These 9 Tips to Consciously Create Your Life?

Are you Using These 9 Tips to Consciously Create Your Life?

February 9, 2021

When we start our healing journey, we move from a state of lack of awareness into a place of awareness. Awareness of how we think, speak, act, and impact others and our environment.  As we become more aware, it is …

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Ideas for Managing In-LawsWork at having a unified front; your loyalty needs to be with your partner Remember, they might feel like they are losing their child, and control over their child Remember they have a different family culture to you, it’s not wrong, just different Communication as a couple, directly with them, not through a sibling or someone else Manage your expectations; they might not be able to live up to them Talk about the role you want your in-laws to have Have clear boundaries If there is an issue with a wife’s mother-in-law, her husband needs to step in to help and vice versa When two family cultures come together, some level of compromise on both sides is healthy

Ideas for Managing In-Laws

February 9, 2021

This is a personal one…for me, point 3, ‘manage your expectations’ was a huge learning with my in-laws. I grew up with basically six people in my family; my mum, dad, sister, nan, and grandad (my mother’s parents), and we …

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Boundaries with In-Laws I appreciate that you are worried about your son, but I prefer it if you speak to him directly. I know that you come and go from your daughter’s house, but we would prefer you to call ahead before you visit. I am a new mother, and I must have space to do it my way. We are new parents with a different parenting philosophy to you. We want you to be involved with the kids, but we would appreciate the space to parent our way. I understand that you disagree with some of your son’s choices, but he is an adult and will ask for advice if he needs it. Your son has enough love for both of us. Remember: With in-laws, it is important to be aligned with your partner. Ultimately, it is their family, and they should take the lead.

Boundaries with In-Laws

February 5, 2021

I have received many DMs about this, the struggle to merge two different families with differing expectations, norms, and values. The critical thing to remember with in-laws is to have a united front with your partner. This is where I …

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Boundaries at Work My team won’t have that done by this afternoon; I can have it done by lunch tomorrow. I am already at capacity. If I am to do this by lunchtime, what would you like me to let go of? Having daily downtime is good for mental health, so I will not check work emails after 7 pm I will not be available while I am on holiday I need to rest on the weekend, so I won’t be checking work emails. I WILL stay congruent with my values at work

Boundaries at Work

February 2, 2021

Like boundaries with family, boundaries at work can be incredibly tricky, especially if you have a boss pushing you to do more when you are already at capacity. With work, the ultimate threat is that you will be fired, which …

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Dating Boundaries I enjoy kissing, but not in public I am comfortable with intimate touch, but I’m not ready for more yet I am not comfortable sending nudes I love spending a day with you at the weekend, but not both days I like to text in the morning or evening, but not all-day I am ready for us to define our relationship I need us to have important conversations in person or on a video call, not text I won’t be available to talk after 10 pm When we go out, I like to split the bill or take turns

Dating Boundaries

February 2, 2021

Dating boundaries are important because they reflect the kinds of boundaries we have in other parts of our lives. If our boundaries are non-existent in the beginning, it can be challenging to re-instate them later on.  Dating boundaries can be …

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Start by getting clear about what boundary you want in place, why you want that boundary, how not having it makes you feel and when you do have it, how it will make you feel. Take a moment to consider the reason they have for doing what they are doing. Be specific about your request, not too vague. Be clear, compassionate, and mindful of your tone as you explain the need for your boundary. Don’t over-explain. Remember that you are allowed to have boundaries, and healthy boundaries will result in more fulfilling relationships. It is normal for boundaries with parents to change as you get older.

How to Set Boundaries Successfully

February 2, 2021

Like any form of self-care that we have not grown up with, we have to learn how to do it at some time. There is no better time than now. Think of strengthening your boundaries as a radical act of …

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What Boundaries are Healthy for Me?

What Boundaries are Healthy for Me?

February 2, 2021

Boundaries are part of your self-care and self-love regime. Forget hot baths and face masks (well, not totally, just move them down your priority list), and move boundaries to the top. There is not much that will drain your energy …

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Unhealthy Boundaries with Parents Might Look Like Unhealthy Boundaries with Parents Might Look Like: Comments about your weight or what you eat Entering your room without knocking Unwelcome comments about your partner Frequent advice or comments about your parenting Frequently borrowing money and not re-paying Disrespecting your belongings Inappropriate nudity Complaining about family members to you Criticizing your beliefs or faith

Unhealthy Boundaries with Parents Might Look Like:

January 29, 2021

As we grow older, it is natural that boundaries with our parents shift. As a 3-year-old, we will need someone to come with us to the bathroom, but not as a 12-year-old.  As we move into the teenage years, it …

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