A holistic approach to trauma defines attachment injury/wounding not as an event or a challenged relationship, but rather as a disruption and overwhelm to our body-mind’s capacity to feel safe, secure, cared for, and consistently connected with. Attachment trauma may …
Tag: attachment theory
What is Cycle Breaker?
We all have repeating patterns or ‘cycles’ in our family of origin. It might be repeating patterns of failed marriages, drug and alcohol problems, or family conflict. You become a cycle breaker when you first see the cycle …
Family Secrets
Did you have to hold a secret for an adult in your family or keep a secret from the rest of your family? Keeping secrets in families, especially across generations can be harmful for the family and the holder of …
Biological and Logical Family
Over and over again, I see people who have had to look outside the BIOLOGICAL family unit for affirmation, acceptance, connection and love. Sometimes this is due to physical distance. When children immigrate as adults, they need to build a …
Relational Trauma Requires Relational Healing
We can learn to self-regulate as adults, but this is only part of the process. The other part is the healing that happens in a two-person system – relationally. Relational trauma requires relational healing. The wounds of childhood trauma are …
Attachment Trauma
How’s this for coincidence. About two months ago, I started to create the outline for my book around healing attachment wounds focusing on somatic practices, and The Embody Lab announced a Certificate in Somatic Attachment Therapy! When I saw it, …
Deep Attunement for Trauma
THIS IS THE WORK. As a therapist, it is my job to be deeply attuned to my clients, notice when they are becoming distressed, and assist them in returning to their window of tolerance. I like to think of it …
Trauma & Secure Attachment
When we experience trauma as a child, and our mother (or primary caregiver) is not attuned to our needs, this is attachment trauma. 50% of the population have an insecure attachment style. This means the mother was not available in …
10 Ways the Fawn Response Shows Up in Relationships
The fawn response is a trauma response. It is a protective reaction to an unsafe situation, usually in our childhood. As adults, the fawn response shows up in relationships in different ways: I’ll say anything to keep the peace. I …
When You Are Overly Sensitive To Your Partner’s Moods
If you grew up in an emotionally unstable environment, you would have learned to watch for any little thing that might set them off. You learn to do things perfectly to avoid being shouted at or punished. You learn to …