I thought point 1 in yesterday’s post, ‘unrealistic relationship expectations: my partner should be able to read my mind’, was worth unpacking. It is often the case that we think we are making our needs clear when our partner has …
Unrealistic Expectations in Relationships
This can be a painful one because it can be a trigger from childhood if you felt misunderstood by your family. Your partner is not likely to understand all of your feelings all of the time. Maybe you don’t either! …
When We Are Afraid of Really ‘Showing Up’ We Run The Risk of Gaslighting the Other Person
Let me give you an example. Some of the parenting I had growing up was quite sharp and stern. Rules were not made to be broken, they were made to be followed, and there were consequences when they were not …
Are you able to ‘show up’ for someone else?
When we don’t ‘show up’ in our most intimate relationships, we limit the depth of connection that can be achieved. I think most of us want to ‘show up’, but we are held back. We are held back by: fear …
Supporting a Cycle Breaker
Thank you for telling us how you feel. These are all from YOU—every one of them. When I asked in my stories what you would like to have heard instead of your friends and family’s shaming, the response was overwhelming. …
Not Everyone Has The Capacity to Show Up For You
Tough question:When you are feeling let down by someone, ask yourself this question, ‘do they have the capacity to show up for me in the way I need?’ If the answer is ‘no’, they can’t show up for me in …
Signs You are Living on Autopilot
Thinking about where you want to go in life and what you are doing to get there Bring meaning and gratitude into your daily life Take time to rest and not do anything Do new things regularly We have a …
Reasons why we might avoid being assertive
There are many reasons people avoid being assertive. I find the two biggest reasons are: ‘The other person will be upset’ (conflict avoidance) and ‘I have no idea how to do it’. Let’s take ‘The other person will be …
Self-Care as a ‘Cycle Breaker.’
A cycle breaker in a family is someone who consciously chooses to develop different ways of communicating, interacting, living and thinking to their family of origin. This can start at a very young age, knowing early that you just think …