When we build up resentments in a relationship, it is common that they will come pouring out during an argument. You start with a complaint about how they leave their clothes on the floor, they become defensive, and to prove …
Sleep and Waking Rituals for Connection
When you are an early bird in a relationship with a night owl, you potentially miss out on many opportunities for connection. You might find less time to talk, less intimacy, less touch, and at worst, you are living like …
Relationship Rituals to Help with Connection
Relationship rituals help with co-regulation. When you are in an intimate relationship with someone, your nervous systems will attune with one another, either creating co-regulation or dysregulation. When connection is strong in the relationship, if one person is dysregulated, the …
Ways to Build Trust in Your Relationship
Trust is the foundation of any relationship. It is difficult to be truly vulnerable with someone you don’t trust. Trust isn’t built overnight; it takes time. In a relationship, many small moments added together become the building blocks of trust. …
Your Brain Can Sabotage Your Relationship Without You Knowing.
Your Brain Can Sabotage Your Relationships Have you ever felt that you are in negative overdrive? Every little thing your partner does is driving you crazy, and you only seem to focus on what they are doing wrong. The reticular …
Calming Phrases To Use During Conflict
Every relationship, at some point, is going to have conflict. How well we deal with the dispute and make repairs can significantly influence the relationship and its longevity.When we are in conflict it is only natural that we will make …
One Essential Thing to Do to Create Emotional Safety in Your Relationship.
The Gottman’s conducted a six-year longitudinal study that predicted the likelihood of divorce from the first three minutes of a conflict. The couples who divorced tended to begin their discussion with a lot of negativity and blame. This, in and …
3 Tips to Reduce Your Defensiveness
The four communication styles that have a negative impact on your relationships: criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling. Everyone will have a favoured method. Mine is defensiveness. Defensiveness is a response to criticism and tends to increase conflict because the other …
One Tip That Will Change the Way You Argue
There is a difference being attacking someone’s CHARACTER and attacking their BEHAVIOUR. When we are critical of someone’s character it is much more personal attack. When we attack a behaviour, there is more of a sense that the behaviour can …
How to Shift a Criticism into a Complaint for More Effective Communication
If you grew up with a lot of criticism around you, as an adult it is likely that you have a loud critical voice in your head. Usually that critical voice is directed inwards, but in intimate relationships, many people …