There are many subtle ways the cycle breaker is shamed in the family; I hope the list above is helpful in spotting some of the behaviours. A big thank you to my Instagram community for adding to this list. …
Communicating Needs
BE HONEST – don’t hide your real needs for fear of being rejected, if you are rejected, this is a great indication you are not going to be happy in this relationship long term. If you are honest and accepted, …
Healing Old Communication Styles Where We Play Games, Push Our Partner Away And DON’T Get What We Want
Here are some situations, some old communication styles, that don’t work, and some new ways to communicate to help get your needs met. I hope you find them helpful! SITUATION – When you talk to them, they are not really …
Some Valid Needs
Knowing our needs can be difficult when we have been taught that our needs are not important or should be placed after everyone else’s needs. This is a type of trauma. We are being separated from our most basic instinct, …
Cycle Breakers Will Often Feel Out Of Place In Their Family
Cycle breakers will often feel out of place in their family. That’s tough because it leaves you feeling isolated. But you just can’t tow the family line anymore. You can’t listen to any more suggestions that there is something wrong …
Identifying Your Needs If You Are Avoidantly Attached
Have you ever marvelled at how some people seem to know exactly what they need at any given moment? Do you often feel numb and have no idea? This is one of the traits of the avoidantly attached. The avoidantly …
Signs I Am Healing In My Relationships
Ram Dass says that relationships are one of the most challenging forms of yoga. When he says this, he is talking about the way you meet in an intimate relationship. You will see all of the parts of self when …
A secure Home Base
When I was training to be a psychotherapist, I was not taught about co-regulation. I was taught about theories, CBT, existential practice, narrative therapy, person-centred therapy. I mainly was taught to listen deeply. To become aware of the parts of …
Saying Goodbye to Olive
On Saturday at 3.30pm, we said goodbye to Olive, our chocolate labrador. She was our first baby. I still called her ‘baby girl’ although she was 16.8 years old, which in dog years is beyond geriatric. One of my happiest …
What Does A Secure, Healthy Relationship Look Like?
I have been asked a lot recently, what does a healthy relationship look like? What are the people who have secure relationships doing? They have learnt, over time, how to balance the ‘we’ and the ‘me’, to repair the inevitable …