A few people have asked me how to discover their primary love language. A lot of people read through the list and think “I love ALL of those!”, why do I just need to choose one or two? In a healthy, thriving relationship, love is shown in many different ways, not just one or two, but for most of us, if one or two of the love languages is non-existent in our relationship, then things become really bad.
You might find that you equally value acts of service and words of affirmation. Imagine what would happen if your partner started to criticise you and complain about you to other people. Imagine they were still doing some acts of service but giving no words of affirmation. Now, imagine it the other way around. Imagine that your partner stopped doing all acts of service but was giving you lots of words of affirmation. How would that feel for you? After that exploration, which is the most important to you?
Once you have discovered your own, explore your partner’s love language. You can read through my posts on the love languages or buy Chapman’s book to read together. It is an eloquent, easy to digest book that could be fabulous to explore together.
Reference: Chapman, G. (2015). The 5 Love Languages. Northfield Publishing; Chicago, IL.