Warning – this is a bit controversial. When we have one of the three insecure attachment styles, we have what I like to think of as a ‘cellular memory’ of the energy of the relationship with the primary care giver …
Category: Wellness
Questioning Our Thinking (The Mind Work)
I like to think of the mind as a piece of play dough that can be moulded over time. It is so easy to think “I can’t change what my mind says!” Know that you CAN because I have done …
Creating a Secure Attachment Style – Part 4
Usually we are subconsciously looking to the world to affirm our deepest beliefs about ourselves. This happens in a part of our brain called the reticular activating system. This part of the brain will notice things that align with our …
Creating a Secure Attachment Style – Part 3
DEVELOPING A COHERENT NARRATIVE ABOUT OUR LIFE. “Writing about important personal experiences in an emotional way for as little as 15 minutes over the course of three days brings about improvements in mental and psychical health” Pennebaker & Seagal, 1999. …
Creating a Secure Attachment Style – Part 2
How can I ‘re-parent’ my inner child? I know this part of me is present a lot in my life – but how do I work with it? Up until about 6 years old our brain waves are operating at …
Creating a Secure Attachment Style – Part 1
One of the ways you can create your own secure base internally and heal from the experience of having an insecure external home base in your mother as a child is through connecting with a powerful part of the self, …
You are the Master of your Mind
Something else I like to do with the mind when it starts to go places I know are not helpful to me is to gently guide it back. Remember, you are the master of your mind. While you let it …
Different experiences of Covid 19
I have heard so many different experiences of this time: I feel so confused. I have lost my job and feel a lot of financial insecurity I’m okay, but Im really worried about my parents. I feel selfish, but I’m …
The Dance of the Avoidant & the Anxiously Attached
I’ve had a lot of requests for more details about the avoidant / anxious dynamic. I hope this gives a bit more insight. If you think of every adult as having a child-like part and an adult-like part, there are …
How to be with a Partner Who Has Disorganised Attachment
They have a deep need for consistency – being a safe person is essential Understanding their fear in relationship They will have emotional ups and downs – allow space for this WITH boundaries When in an argument they may dissociate …