Sometimes your anxiety isn’t intuition. It’s an old attachment wound looking for danger. Intuition usually feels calm and clear. Attachment activation feels urgent, fearful, and consuming. An activated nervous system can make a delayed text, a change in tone, or …
Category: Attachment
Sometimes Your Anxiety Isn’t Intuition — It’s an Old Attachment Wound
Sometimes your anxiety isn’t intuition. It’s an old attachment wound looking for danger. Intuition usually feels calm and clear. Attachment activation feels urgent, fearful, and consuming. An activated nervous system can make a delayed text, a change in tone, or …
Why Avoidantly Attached People Often End Up Loving Therapy
Many avoidantly attached people end up loving therapy. Not because they suddenly want to talk about all their feelings. But because good therapy doesn’t force vulnerability. Many avoidant people grew up learning that depending on others felt unsafe, disappointing, overwhelming, …
Why Group Therapy Can Be So Profoundly Healing: Reflections on ‘Group’ by Christie Tate
I just LOVED this book — Group by Christie Tate. It reminds me why group therapy can be so profoundly healing. One of the things I loved most about the book was how honestly she captured the terror of being …
Why Understanding Your Patterns Isn’t Always Enough to Change Them
You might recognise yourself in one of these: Feeling anxious, needing reassurance, and getting activated easily. Overthinking, feeling easily triggered or rejected. Or pulling away, shutting down, and finding closeness overwhelming. Going quiet, needing space, struggling with too much closeness. …
The Part of You That Won’t Let Go Is Trying to Protect You
The part of you that won’t let go… is trying to protect you. It replays the past so you don’t get hurt like that again. It stays alert so you don’t feel caught off guard. It doesn’t need to be …
The Important Skill of Letting People Be Disappointed
Important skill: letting people be disappointed without rushing to rescue or explain. You can be kind — without over-functioning. You can care — without contorting yourself. You can choose your own capacity — and still be a good person. Discomfort …
When the Avoidant Part Takes Over: It’s Protection, Not Punishment
When the avoidant part takes over, it’s because closeness feels unsafe. This part learned to rely on itself. So it pulls back, shuts down, stays busy — not to punish, but to protect. Pressure doesn’t soften it. Gentleness, curiosity and …
When the Anxious Part Takes Over
When the anxious part takes over, it’s because something feels at risk. This part fears disconnection. So it watches, worries, reaches — not to control, but to protect. Reassurance doesn’t calm it. Presence does. When you stay with this part, …
When You Feel Unsafe, a Part Steps In
When you feel unsafe, a part steps in. Automatically. Instinctively. Intelligently. That part is a strategy your system learned. Listening to this part brings relief. Fighting it creates more tension. In parts work, we don’t ask, “How do I stop …