When in conflict, if you have an anxious adaptation, it is common to get into a pattern of feeling alone and hopeless in your relationship. Rather than give up, you might find yourself becoming critical of your partner and pursuing them in different ways.
When you pursue, you are making a noise. You are trying to get them to respond to you. This might work sometimes, but more often than not, it will inadvertently push your partner away. This increased distance in the relationship activates your panic button, and you pursue even more. And the cycle continues.
