For me, the interesting thing about ghosting is what it brings up for you. It can take a moment to take attention off the person who has done the ghosting and be with self.
It is often easier to focus all of our attention on the other person. To label them a narcissist, cold, or avoidant. Whist these things may be true, they are now out of your life, so their patterns are no longer your business.
Your reactions are your business. Take this time to get curious about your reactions to what has happened.
Here are some journal prompts that could be useful:
- What exactly am I feeling? Pull up a feeling wheel online and drill into the nuances, range and depth of what you are feeling.
- Where am I feeling it in my body? This allows you to connect with your ‘felt’ experience and is a powerful part of integrating experiences.
- Can I allow myself to feel these feelings without having to distract myself for a short time?
- When have I felt these feelings before?
- When was the first time I remember feeling this flavour of feelings?
- When I feel this way, what do I make it mean about myself?
- What else could I make it mean?
- What support do I need whilst I allow myself to feel these feelings?
- What would be healthy self-care for me during this time?
- When have I felt this way before? What helped me move past it? Focusing on healthy behaviours.
If you feel safe enough, I would love to hear how you moved past it in the comments below.
Love, Jen
