If you grew up in an emotionally unstable environment, you would have learned to watch for any little thing that might set them off. You learn to do things perfectly to avoid being shouted at or punished. You learn to watch facial expressions and subtle changes in the tone of voice.
We learn these as children to stay safe. To stay safe, we became vigilant.
As adults, there is still this little child within, part of our subconscious, terrified of being abandoned or hurt again. So the little child within will keep watch. Will be vigilant. Even when everything is safe, they will be keeping watch.
This is why as an adult, you might be overly sensitive to your partner’s moods. You might find yourself:
- Assuming it is something that you did
- Wanting to change their mood
- Performing to make them happy
- Feeling flooded with anxiety
These are some of the impacts of an insecure attachment style. Attachment styles are not a life sentence. They can be changed with time and focus. I teach you HOW in the Relationship Cycle Breakers course. It is a six week deep dive into healing unhelpful relationship patterns. To find out more click here
If attachment anxiety resonates with you, let me know in the comments.