Wherever you are in your healing journey, reparenting is part of it. When we have been raised by adults who didn’t know how to regulate their nervous system, who did not have the skills to role model healthy boundaries or conflict resolution, who were maybe disconnected from their body and sense of self due to their own upbringing, we need to learn these skills later in life as adults, to become cycle breakers. Our parents simply couldn’t teach us what they didn’t know.
There is a considerable movement now in the area of reparenting, it is possible to learn to reparent yourself, to learn how to be present with the scared and lonely inner child who feels not good enough, rejected and hurt. As we reparent we learn to sit with her in painful moments, to acknowledge and validate the pain. We learn how to speak to ourselves in the form of the inner child, with the greatest love and compassion.
I have witnessed countless moments of deep healing occur in such moments. When we stop, connect with the deeply wounded part of self, and hold space for it, magic occurs. The narratives that we have lived with for so long start to change as we gain insight into the situation through our new adult lens.
Reparenting is, by far, one of the most powerful things I have ever done for myself. By growing the adult part of myself, I completely changed my life. I felt safer with myself than ever before, more present, kinder to myself and more grounded, which enabled me to put boundaries in place in a more effective way, be more assertive and have better relationships. Know that EVERYONE can learn reparenting skills. It might be the missing piece of the puzzle for you.
If this is something you have tried or would like to try in the future, a great place to start is in my Relationship Cycle Breaker course.