When we play games, more often than not, we don’t get our authentic needs met. Instead, we end up pushing our partner away and feeling more unsafe. Learning to communicate clearly and break the habit of game-playing is a total …
Tag: Trauma
Being a Secure Home Base as a Therapist
f you didn’t have these experiences, therapy is one way to have the corrective experiences we need to change our attachment style and heal childhood wounds. I talk about this in greater depth in my signature 6-week course, Relationship Cycle …
Supporting a partner with Disorganised Attachment Style
Children are wired for survival. To survive, they will adapt to their environment to get their needs for food, love, and security met. In children who show disorganised attachment, the primary caregiver has been erratic, unpredictable and sometimes abusive and …
Foundation for Disorganised Attachment
This attachment style is a combination of the previous two (avoidant and ambivalent/anxious). Disorganised children give inconsistent responses in the presence of their primary caregiver (often the mother). They seem disoriented and confused. This is likely the result of erratic …
Validating Your Trauma
These three things will vary depending on the individual. We all start with a different nervous system. We are all in differing social-economic environments, surrounded by varying levels of support. We are all connected to our core or our spirit …
Implications of Childhood Trauma
Let’s expand the definition of trauma. Historically, we think of trauma as big events that caused stress and shock and impacted your old view of yourself and the world. This is big ‘T’ trauma. It has become more apparent that …
Trauma Can Be…
When we think about trauma, we usually think about big things; abuse, car accidents, death, etc. But trauma responses are activated by many other things. I have noticed in my practice that people who have not experienced events that we …
Unhealed Trauma
There can be trauma through what was DONE to you, being hit, shouted at, called names when growing up. And then there is trauma through omission, things that you should have experienced that you didn’t. It’s easy to look back …
Gifting Yourself Time to Heal
Have you ever become frustrated with yourself on your healing journey? Thinking: Why are relationships still so difficult for me? Why do I still react like a child around my parents? Why do I still feel anxious all the time? …
Stress Management Tips
What do you do to self-soothe when you are stressed? Do you pick up a drink? Do you find yourself in front of the cupboard tucking into a whole packet of dark chocolate McVities Digestives (for the Brits reading this)? …