As we heal, we grow. We connect with a more profound sense of self. We begin to feel more embodied and happier. We make healthier choices and have healthier boundaries. This gives us more capacity than before to have greater …
Tag: therapy
Being a Secure Home Base as a Therapist
f you didn’t have these experiences, therapy is one way to have the corrective experiences we need to change our attachment style and heal childhood wounds. I talk about this in greater depth in my signature 6-week course, Relationship Cycle …
Relational Dynamics Between Anxious And Securely Attached People
Being in a relationship with an anxiously attached person can feel suffocating. Small things might trigger them. Like not returning a call until after work, which is interpreted as not being committed. After a while, this all becomes a …
Supporting a partner with Disorganised Attachment Style
Children are wired for survival. To survive, they will adapt to their environment to get their needs for food, love, and security met. In children who show disorganised attachment, the primary caregiver has been erratic, unpredictable and sometimes abusive and …
Tips for Disorganised Attachment Style
This attachment style is a combination of the previous two (avoidant and ambivalent/anxious). Disorganised children give inconsistent responses in the presence of their primary caregiver due to inconsistent behaviour from the parent. Sometimes the parent is a safe and supportive …
Supporting an Avoidanlty Attached Partner
Avoidantly attached people often have a well-developed ‘inner adult’. They are stable, secure and seem to have it all worked out. This can be very attractive for people who have a well developed ‘inner child’. They feel safe with this …
The Purpose of Self Criticism
The antidote to self-criticism is self-compassion. We can learn self-compassion. The outstanding researcher Dr Kristin Neff @neffselfcompassion has broken down self-compassion and has a suite of excellent tools to help increase our self-compassion quota. Compassion and Acceptance is also Module …
Understanding an Anxiously Attached Partner
Remember that for the anxiously attached person, SAFETY is critical. So, things like checking out other men in his presence will make him feel unsafe and act out. They are also prone to jealousy because of a deep feeling of …
Dealing With Self-Criticism
I remember when I first heard about the concept of self-love. It was totally foreign. What did it mean to love yourself? I had only ever been taught that it was good to love others, to be kind to others. …
Environment for Secure Attachment
If you are in one of the insecurely attached groups, know that we can all learn to become more secure if we choose. It takes a lot of courage, but it can be done! Drop me a comment …