As a couple therapist, I see people repeatedly move through all of these stages. If you do this well, you build an increasingly solid foundation for your relationship. Sometimes, however, we get stuck in the struggle and repair phase, especially …
Tag: therapy
10,000 Hours
I did a back-of-the-envelope calculation to work out how many hours of trauma therapy I had done in my career. The answer is about 15,600 hours. The interesting thing is that I am not burnt out. I LOVE what I …
Apology Accepted. Access Denied.
It’s okay to accept an apology. We all make mistakes. It’s also okay to have a new boundary that keeps you safe.
Common Mistakes when Anxiously Attached
Many individuals with anxious attachment mistakenly equate the rollercoaster of intense emotional highs and lows with the depth and intensity of love, perceiving these turbulent experiences as signs of a passionate relationship. This confusion can lead to a blurred line …
The Mindset of Secure Attachment
There are 5 parts to the mindset of Secure Attachment. I discuss them in detail in my newsletter. sign up here
You Are Important
As a trauma therapist, I’ve heard numerous stories about the messages people received in childhood that made them feel unimportant. Whether it was a sibling who demanded all of your parents’ time and energy, leaving little for you, or parents …
Dr Alexandra Quote
When you have been betrayed, you have a natural scar from that experience. Many people would call that experience traumatic. It is traumatic because your person, who is supposed to have your back and be one of your best friends, …
Checking In
Ask each other, ‘How are you really doing? What’s on your mind?’ Listen with empathy, without rushing to solve or judge.” When do you do this as a couple?
Mastermind Course
Spend 10 hours with me and change the way you relate internally FOREVER! ‘Build Secure Attachment Mastermind’ If you want more connection in your intimate relationships and to break out of the repeating cycles of distress, this is for you! …