Exploring how we protect ourselves in the face of overwhelming or scary situations is essential. Naturally, we might react by freezing, fleeing, fighting, submitting, or seeking attachment.
Tag: shame
How Dissociation is Often Misunderstood
If you have any questions about dissociation, let me know in the comments. Love, Jen
Birth Trauma
*Trigger warning for this one* It was difficult for me to speak about my birth trauma for a long time for a few reasons. Firstly, it felt ungrateful to acknowledge it. I had a baby. Who was I to complain …
Coercive Control
I have witnessed some of these relationships up close and personal, and I can tell you that they can be SUPER confusing because the person concerned will often make you feel that you are the centre of the universe. They …
Do You Feel Shamed as a Cycle Breaker?
There are many subtle ways the cycle breaker is shamed in the family; I hope the list above is helpful in spotting some of the behaviours. A big thank you to my Instagram community for adding to this list. …
Suggestions for Cycle Breakers Who Feel Shamed
As a cycle breaker, it is important to understand that most of the resistance to you being different and wanting to break away from the family is based in FEAR. The underlying habit for many family systems is to shame …
Healing Shame through Journalling
When we experience shame, our gut reaction is usually to run as fast as we can in the other direction. In the moment, this might be the safest thing to do, but after the moment has passed it can be …
Where Does Shame Hide?
It is easy to read posts about shame and think, “Oh, I don’t feel any shame. That’s not in my life”. If that is the case, you are an incredibly rare individual. For most people, shame is part of life. …
The Antidote to Shame
Shame is a painful emotion that is created because of a sense of failure to meet a certain standard. Shame says that we are flawed and unworthy of connection. In response to shame, people will isolate themselves or numb their …
Understanding Shame
Nathanson (1992) presents a fabulous tool to show us how shame shows up. When we look at the middle axis of withdrawal and avoidance, we see two different behaviours. With withdrawal, there is hiding and disconnection. We know from research …