Tag: psychotherapy

words of affirmation

Accepting Words of Affirmation

November 8, 2022

When we have grown up receiving few affirmations from the people around us, it can be difficult to receive words of affirmation as an adult. You might find yourself feeling suspicious and wondering if you are being manipulated. This could …

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words of affirmation as a love language

Gifting Words of Affirmation

November 8, 2022

Words of affirmation can be incredibly powerful for people who received a lot of criticism as children. For them to hear that they are appreciated and loved for who they are is deeply affirming and healing. It allows them to …

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Sometimes love is blocked when we speak different love languages. If I feel love through physical touch, but that’s something my partner doesnt enjoy, then I can quickly feel unloved even though other love languages are being expressed. If you would like your partner to feel move love from you, then get curious about their love languages. I like my clients to chose their top two. That way there are two to work with at any time. The best way to discover your partner’s love language is to ask them. Is it: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service or physical touch? Once you know, try to use that love language to show your love once a day. Let me know how you go.

Discovering Your Partner’s Love Language

November 8, 2022

There is no better time to discover your partner’s love language. Take time to think about how you FEEL love from your partner. You might find that your partner can tell you a hundred time that they love you, but …

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Consequences of Unmet Childhood Needs Regression into Childhood States When childhood needs are not met as an adult, you may experience a ‘regression into intense emotional states like the ones experienced in childhood’ when that need was not met.

Consequences of Unmet Childhood Needs

November 3, 2022

Our core childhood needs are: Attachment Freedom to be yourself and to have your emotions and needs validated Appropriate limits so you learn self-control Independence, competence and self-identity Play When triggered by one of these needs not being met, you …

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Missing Out on the Support You Need?

Missing Out on the Support You Need?

November 3, 2022

Can THIS person give me the support I need right now? If the answer is yes, great. If the answer is no, know that there can be many reasons why they cannot offer that support. Know that you deserve to …

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eing in the darkness with a therapist When we are in our darkest places, we need someone to step in with us and metaphorically hold our hand and walk with us into a different space. Sometimes, our friends and family are unable to hold us in the way we need and walk next to us This is the role of the healer – the therapist.

Being in Distress with a Therapist

November 3, 2022

Sometimes, we don’t get what we need from our friends and family. This doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t care about or love us.  It might mean: they are triggered by you  they are triggered by what is happening to you …

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Self Care as a Therapist Do we need protecting from people? Sometimes, I think the answer is definitely yes, and sometimes not. I’m often asked, do I need to protect myself as a therapist? I like to think about this in terms of protective factors. I have been doing energy healing and therapeutic work for over 19 years. I know when my energy is off. Over the years, I have learned how to be deeply attuned to myself, and how to bring myself back to my centre. I know that I need 8 or more hours of sleep a night to be the best version of me the next day. I have good sleep hygiene; I am in bed by 9pm and usually asleep by 10pm. I get up at 6.30am every day. I eat a lot of fruits and vegetables every day. I make time for meditation and exercise. My life is busy. I have two young children, I have a thriving marriage, I write for social media and am busy writing a book, and I see my clients. I have learnt what I need to give myself to have such a full life. What I have written above, for me, are the foundation. What are the foundations you need to give yourself every day to be the best version of yourself?

Self-Care as a Therapist

November 3, 2022

Some self-care rituals that are part of my life: I meditate for 20 minutes every day. I use a mantra that a teacher in India gave me I exercise for around 45 minutes at least three times a week I …

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As a Therapist I Often Experience Deep feelings of compassion for my clients Thinking about my clients in between sessions Feelings of protectiveness for my clients Reminders of times I have felt similar to my clients The desire to help The complexity of being human Patience as we sit with questions, rather than rushing to solutions Awe at the strength of my clients Joy as clients share their progress Gratitude for the small shifts Gratitude to all of my clients and their trust in me

My Experiences as a Therapist

November 3, 2022

Many people wonder why on earth I chose to be a therapist. “Why would you want to sit all day and listen to people’s pain and suffering, life is hard enough as it is!” The funny thing is, listening to …

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Don’t shame yourself for having needs. Having needs is healthy, it is only when we try to get all our needs met through one person, that there is a problem. You’ll know this is happening because your inner child will throw tantrums when your needs are not being met. In a relationship, there are two people, with two different sets of needs. Make sure you know your partner's needs as well as you know your own. List your needs and assess which needs you can take care of and which needs are interpersonal. Think about all the different relationships that can take care of a need. For example, the need for deep connection. I have noticed that people who have deep connections with a few people tend to feel safer and more grounded than people who only have a deep connection in their intimate relationship. Think about ALL the people you would like to cultivate deeper intimacy with.

Understanding Needs in Relationships

November 3, 2022

Attempting to get all our needs met through one person is often a subconscious pattern. We all have the need to be loved, and accepted, for play, for trust and connection. Some of these needs can only be met interpersonally, …

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Key Childhood Needs

Key Childhood Needs

October 28, 2022

When core needs go unmet, unhealthy coping mechanisms result. This is natural because a child needs to keep themselves safe and over time, learns how to get their needs met, however they can. For many people, having needs at all …

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