This is the cycle we all go through on any healing journey. We need to discover where we are stuck, what we have inherited from our parents and our childhood. Then we need to attend to and heal those wounded …
Tag: healing journey
Why Do We Often Experience The Same Patterns of Pain?
Have you ever asked yourself why you end up in the same situation feeling the same pain AGAIN? It might be feeling unnoticed by your boyfriend. Maybe he seems to prioritise everyone and everything else but you. In response, you …
How to Self-Soothe
Self-soothing is one of the most important life skills we can learn. So many of us did not learn this vital skill from our parents. They were distracted, absent, or unable to soothe their child because they couldn’t soothe themselves. …
Why are Family Secrets Toxic?
???????????? ???????????? ???????????????? ???????? ???????????????? ???? ???????????????????????? ???????????? ???????? ???????????????????? ???????? ???????????????? ????????????????????????? Keeping secrets in families, especially across generations can be harmful for the family and the holder of the secret.Take the example above. Here the mother and child …
Reparenting Interrupts Intergenerational Trauma
One way trauma passes through family lines is from parent to child. Let’s imagine that someone’s father grew up with an alcoholic father. To escape his family home, he joined the army, where he was exposed to more stressful and …
Skilful and Unskilful Boundary Setting
A great formula to remember when setting boundaries is: “I feel _____________ when ______________, and I need ______________________”. Think about the difference between: “You are late again, you don’t care about me, it is so disrespectful” and “I feel disrespected …
Things That Might Prevent A Family from Discussing Issues Are
At the first sign of disagreement, uncomfortable issues or emotions, does your family ‘shut down’? Shutting down is often done to protect the individuals and the family system and is often done because the members simply don’t have the skills …
How to Talk to Your Family About Cycles You Would Like to Break
A lot of cycle breaking that takes place in families happens without much open discussion. Often families don’t have the language or willingness to discuss things which might be unhealthy for one or more members. Things that might prevent a …