When we grow up with abusive or neglectful parents, we quickly learn to ignore our own needs. Maybe it is dangerous to express our needs, or when we do, they are ignored. The result is a deep disconnect from our …
Tag: healing journey
Familial Guilt and Aligning with Our Values
This is one I come back to again and again. Whenever I am feeling guilty, I ask myself, am I out of alignment with my values? If yes, I realign with them. If not, I stop the guilt. Love, Jen
Mental Illness: Adapting to Unhealthy Situations
Knowing that mental illness results from normal adaptations to unhealthy situations became clear to me when I read “The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog” by Dr Bruce Perry. Trigger warning for this book – it does contain harrowing …
Examples of Triggers
Remember that triggers are NORMAL. It is about learning to recognise your personal triggers and work with them. This list is a great starting place for you to think about your triggers. If you’d like to, try the exercise below. …
Understanding Triggers
Imagine if your father was a large man and a violent drunk. It might be that whenever you see a man in the street with a similar figure and gait, your body freezes, and you start to panic. A trigger …
Signs of Healing
When I began my healing journey, I was experiencing deep inner conflict. I had immigrated to a new country and had few support people in my new home. Most of my friends and family were literally on the other side …
Black Sheep of The Family
If you were labeled the black sheep in your family, know this is only one potential dynamic that might have been playing out in your family. Every family is unique, with unique dynamics. Being the black sheep can be a …
The Effects of Drawing Children into Adult Conflicts
One of the most common examples of this is during a divorce. Both parents are vying for the emotional support of the children. They are consciously manipulating the children to align with them. This might take the form of comments …
Statements of Self-Validation
HERE IS A QUICK ‘GO TO’ TILE FOR VALIDATING STATEMENTS. Keep these on your screen saver, print them, and put them next to your bed, where you brush your teeth. While we are changing our inner landscape, it takes a …
Tips for Self-Validation
Self-validation CAN be learnt. It is so important because validating ourselves re-connects us with our inner knowing and intuition. Self-validation is particularly important when growing up in an environment with mixed messages, where the adults around us have denied our …