Research in relationships shows that men find it more difficult than women to accept influence from their partners (see J. Gottman’s research). But, let’s face it, we can all love to win, and we are living in a culture that …
Tag: Gottmanmethod
How Having to Be Right Damages your Relationship and What to Do About it.
Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who has to be right all the time? It can be so frustrating. Even when there is evidence that they are wrong, they won’t openly say, “oh, I was wrong”, they …
One Essential Thing to Do to Create Emotional Safety in Your Relationship.
The Gottman’s conducted a six-year longitudinal study that predicted the likelihood of divorce from the first three minutes of a conflict. The couples who divorced tended to begin their discussion with a lot of negativity and blame. This, in and …
4 Ways of Communicating That Will Destroy Your Relationship
The Gottman’s have spent 40 years studying couple and relationships. They found four communication styles predict the failure of a relationship. The Gottman’s call them the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. First, to begin to work with our communication style, …
The Five Stages of Relationship
Reminder: it is NORMAL to have conflict in a relationship. Excellent relationship researchers, the Gottman’s, discovered that it was not the number of disputes that determined if a relationship was robust or not, but how the couple resolved the conflict. …
Emotional Intelligence is a Predicator of Success.
Children can learn emotional intelligence and so can couples. What is emotional intelligence (emotional quotient or EQ)? EQ is the ability to understand and process your emotions in a positive way to release stress, empathise with others, communicate effectively and …
The Key Factor in Determining Marriage Satisfaction
John & Julie Gottman are two of the leading researchers in the field of relationships and marriage. They created a ‘Love Lab’, a fabricated apartment with a beautiful view and cameras to study couples who stayed overnight, as part of …
How Fear Stops Us Connecting in Relationships
Deep listening involves: Imagining your partners world – Stepping into their shoes Hearing your partner – you don’t have to agree with what they are saying but take a moment to really HEAR them in a new way. Seeing the …