Shame is often transmitted through family lines. Parents use shame-based parenting, the children grow up with shame and use shame-based parenting, and the pattern is repeated. Shame is something that comes up in therapy regularly. One of the most powerful …
Tag: communication
What To Say If You Made A Mistake Or Regret How You Behaved.
We all mess up from time to time. Remember, it is not the conflict that defines a relationship. The magic is in the repair. How well do you repair? When we have made a mistake, we have usually done something …
Connection
How do you let your children know you love them? I ask! I ask if they feel loved. I say, “if you were to feel a little bit more loved by me today, what would happen, or what would I …
Boundaries Are A Love Language
When we have grown up with few boundaries and been taught that boundaries are selfish, it can be challenging to put them in place as an adult. It can be challenging to know what is appropriate, what you need, and …
Relationships are a Co-creation.
It is a fairytale to expect that love, desire and connection will be provided by our partner all of the time. That they will be able and willing to attend to us all of the time, to attune to us …
Often, When People Rage, They Are Suffering
What does it mean to suffer? There are many ways we can suffer. We can suffer physically with pain, mentally with mental illness or rumination, or spiritually with a lack of meaning or moral dilemma. Suffering is part of the …
10 Tips for When You Feel “New Relationship Anxiety”
Moving into a new relationship is all about stepping into vulnerability. We often feel anxiety when we step into vulnerability because we risk being hurt. I hope these tips will be helpful for those of you experiencing new relationship anxiety. …
How To Be Heard When You Feel Criticised
It can be SO difficult to actually listen to your partner when you are in the middle of an argument. All too often, we block ourselves from seeing their point of view because we feel we will be agreeing with …
Open-Mindedness as an Antidote to Polarisation
Being open-minded promotes understanding and is necessary for critical thinking. It helps you to take into account all factors that might be affecting a situation. It is one of the factors that protect against dogmatism and polarisation. Being open-minded can …
What is Attachment Anxiety?
Attachment anxiety is when we learn as children that we can’t depend on the adults around us, so we adapt our behaviour to suit the situation we are experiencing in that relationship to stay alive, fed and loved. One adaptation …