It is a fairytale to expect that love, desire and connection will be provided by our partner all of the time. That they will be able and willing to attend to us all of the time, to attune to us …
Tag: communication
Often, When People Rage, They Are Suffering
What does it mean to suffer? There are many ways we can suffer. We can suffer physically with pain, mentally with mental illness or rumination, or spiritually with a lack of meaning or moral dilemma. Suffering is part of the …
10 Tips for When You Feel “New Relationship Anxiety”
Moving into a new relationship is all about stepping into vulnerability. We often feel anxiety when we step into vulnerability because we risk being hurt. I hope these tips will be helpful for those of you experiencing new relationship anxiety. …
How To Be Heard When You Feel Criticised
It can be SO difficult to actually listen to your partner when you are in the middle of an argument. All too often, we block ourselves from seeing their point of view because we feel we will be agreeing with …
Open-Mindedness as an Antidote to Polarisation
Being open-minded promotes understanding and is necessary for critical thinking. It helps you to take into account all factors that might be affecting a situation. It is one of the factors that protect against dogmatism and polarisation. Being open-minded can …
What is Attachment Anxiety?
Attachment anxiety is when we learn as children that we can’t depend on the adults around us, so we adapt our behaviour to suit the situation we are experiencing in that relationship to stay alive, fed and loved. One adaptation …
Communicating Your Needs
How do I ask for what I need? The most important part is KNOWING what you need. Often, we are not really clear about what our needs are. They get mixed up in the jumble of what we DON’T want. …
Protest Behaviours
Protest behaviours are ways of communicating. They have either been role modelled in your family of origin, or you have adapted them to stay safe in some way. For example, you might have witnessed your mother get angry about your …
Communicating Needs
BE HONEST – don’t hide your real needs for fear of being rejected, if you are rejected, this is a great indication you are not going to be happy in this relationship long term. If you are honest and accepted, …
Healing Old Communication Styles Where We Play Games, Push Our Partner Away And DON’T Get What We Want
Here are some situations, some old communication styles, that don’t work, and some new ways to communicate to help get your needs met. I hope you find them helpful! SITUATION – When you talk to them, they are not really …