Tag: attachment adaptation

Open Minded PodCast

Jennifer March 1, 2024

I had such a wonderful chat with Marla. We covered all things attachment and touched on trauma, EMDR, IFS, meditation and healing. Head over to her podcast and check it out. If you like what you hear, please leave a …

Attachment adaptations are the result of experiencing different kinds of trauma during your childhood. They include what some have called “big-T trauma,” such as abuse, neglect, domestic violence, living in a war zone. They also encompass “small-t trauma,” like ongoing bullying, feeling unloved, repeatedly being told that you are stupid, or living with an adult where there is little emotional connection. Don’t dismiss small-t trauma as not being “real trauma,” small-t traumas build up, like a thousand tiny paper cuts, and significantly impact your emotional development and the adult you have become. Children “can be wounded in multiple ways: by bad things happening, yes, but also by good things not happening” (The Myth of Normal - Maté and Maté 2022, 23). When you are in the moment, experiencing an anxious attachment adaptation, and frustrated with yourself, you are likely unaware of the unresolved childhood trauma that sits behind it

Attachment Adaptations and Trauma

Jennifer November 9, 2023

This is an excerpt from my upcoming book “Heal Your Anxious Attachment” landing Feb 2024. When you have one of the insecure attachment styles, it is easy to be self-critical and feel flawed in some way when you see yourself …