The most powerful words in therapy: “That makes sense.” Not because what happened was okay. Not because the behaviour should continue. But because when you understand why you feel, react, protect, withdraw, people-please, or overthink… You stop fighting yourself. And …
Sometimes Your Anxiety Isn’t Intuition — It’s an Old Attachment Wound
Sometimes your anxiety isn’t intuition. It’s an old attachment wound looking for danger. Intuition usually feels calm and clear. Attachment activation feels urgent, fearful, and consuming. An activated nervous system can make a delayed text, a change in tone, or …
Why Avoidantly Attached People Often End Up Loving Therapy
Many avoidantly attached people end up loving therapy. Not because they suddenly want to talk about all their feelings. But because good therapy doesn’t force vulnerability. Many avoidant people grew up learning that depending on others felt unsafe, disappointing, overwhelming, …
Why Understanding Your Patterns Isn’t Always Enough to Change Them
You can understand your patterns… and still repeat them in relationships. Many people come to therapy already understanding their patterns intellectually. They know why they people please. Why they over-function. Why they fear abandonment. Why they shut down or withdraw. …
Why Group Therapy Can Be So Profoundly Healing: Reflections on ‘Group’ by Christie Tate
I just LOVED this book — Group by Christie Tate. It reminds me why group therapy can be so profoundly healing. One of the things I loved most about the book was how honestly she captured the terror of being …
Why Understanding Your Patterns Isn’t Always Enough to Change Them
You might recognise yourself in one of these: Feeling anxious, needing reassurance, and getting activated easily. Overthinking, feeling easily triggered or rejected. Or pulling away, shutting down, and finding closeness overwhelming. Going quiet, needing space, struggling with too much closeness. …
The Part of You That Won’t Let Go Is Trying to Protect You
The part of you that won’t let go… is trying to protect you. It replays the past so you don’t get hurt like that again. It stays alert so you don’t feel caught off guard. It doesn’t need to be …
If You Keep Thinking About It, Here’s Why
If you keep thinking about it… it’s because a part of you hasn’t finished processing it yet. Something in you is still trying to make sense of what happened — or trying to protect you from ever feeling that way …
Deep Pain Doesn’t Leave All at Once — It Softens in Layers
What I see, again and again in therapy, is that deep pain doesn’t leave all at once. It softens in layers. You return to it, but each time from a different place. A different level of the spiral. One session …
A Heart Full of Joy: Reflections from Our Path of Light Retreat in India
I’m sitting in the airport in Bangalore waiting for my flight to Sydney with a heart full of joy. I have so much gratitude to all the staff, Indian people and the land of India itself. In very few places …