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Jennifer Nurick

All things Love, Attachment and Healing from Trauma

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The secret to relationship success A strong friendship. Know your partner’s love maps – Know your partner’s likes and dislikes, ask questions about their world, know what is going on for them Cultivate fondness and admiration – let them know what you love about them, give compliments freely and give praise and gratitude. Turn towards each other – when your partner makes a bid for connection, be sure to respond, make eye contact, be warm.

The Secret to Relationship Success: A Strong Friendship

Jennifer February 11, 2021

When there is a strong friendship, repairs in the relationship work better. In the Gottman’s book “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” (1999), they talk about the importance of repairs. In any relationship, we have to expect to have …

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5 Tips for the 5 Stages of a Relationship

5 Tips for the 5 Stages of a Relationship

Jennifer February 11, 2021

One common myth about great relationships is that there are no arguments or disagreements. The Gottman’s (fantastic relationship experts who have done lots of research in this area, disagree).  It is NORMAL to have conflict in a relationship; the issue …

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Why do my parents still trigger me?

Why Do My Parents Still Trigger Me?

Jennifer February 11, 2021

We all carry wounds from our childhood. It might be that you were teased for being chubby, you were pushed to succeed academically, or there wasn’t enough to eat. When these wounds are left unresolved, we might find ourselves as …

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Are you Using These 9 Tips to Consciously Create Your Life?

Are you Using These 9 Tips to Consciously Create Your Life?

Jennifer February 9, 2021

When we start our healing journey, we move from a state of lack of awareness into a place of awareness. Awareness of how we think, speak, act, and impact others and our environment.  As we become more aware, it is …

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Ideas for Managing In-LawsWork at having a unified front; your loyalty needs to be with your partner Remember, they might feel like they are losing their child, and control over their child Remember they have a different family culture to you, it’s not wrong, just different Communication as a couple, directly with them, not through a sibling or someone else Manage your expectations; they might not be able to live up to them Talk about the role you want your in-laws to have Have clear boundaries If there is an issue with a wife’s mother-in-law, her husband needs to step in to help and vice versa When two family cultures come together, some level of compromise on both sides is healthy

Ideas for Managing In-Laws

Jennifer February 9, 2021

This is a personal one…for me, point 3, ‘manage your expectations’ was a huge learning with my in-laws. I grew up with basically six people in my family; my mum, dad, sister, nan, and grandad (my mother’s parents), and we …

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Boundaries with In-Laws I appreciate that you are worried about your son, but I prefer it if you speak to him directly. I know that you come and go from your daughter’s house, but we would prefer you to call ahead before you visit. I am a new mother, and I must have space to do it my way. We are new parents with a different parenting philosophy to you. We want you to be involved with the kids, but we would appreciate the space to parent our way. I understand that you disagree with some of your son’s choices, but he is an adult and will ask for advice if he needs it. Your son has enough love for both of us. Remember: With in-laws, it is important to be aligned with your partner. Ultimately, it is their family, and they should take the lead.

Boundaries with In-Laws

Jennifer February 5, 2021

I have received many DMs about this, the struggle to merge two different families with differing expectations, norms, and values. The critical thing to remember with in-laws is to have a united front with your partner. This is where I …

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why you have outbursts

Why You Have Outbursts

Jennifer February 5, 2021

When we push our emotions down, they get stuck in the body. WE have phases where we feel stable, and life goes on until something takes the lid off. It might be your child spilling paint on the carpet, it …

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Boundaries at Work My team won’t have that done by this afternoon; I can have it done by lunch tomorrow. I am already at capacity. If I am to do this by lunchtime, what would you like me to let go of? Having daily downtime is good for mental health, so I will not check work emails after 7 pm I will not be available while I am on holiday I need to rest on the weekend, so I won’t be checking work emails. I WILL stay congruent with my values at work

Boundaries at Work

Jennifer February 2, 2021

Like boundaries with family, boundaries at work can be incredibly tricky, especially if you have a boss pushing you to do more when you are already at capacity. With work, the ultimate threat is that you will be fired, which …

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Reparenting interrupts intergenerational trauma

Reparenting Interrupts Intergenerational Trauma

Jennifer February 2, 2021

One way trauma passes through family lines is from parent to child. Let’s imagine that someone’s father grew up with an alcoholic father. To escape his family home, he joined the army, where he was exposed to more stressful and …

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Dating Boundaries I enjoy kissing, but not in public I am comfortable with intimate touch, but I’m not ready for more yet I am not comfortable sending nudes I love spending a day with you at the weekend, but not both days I like to text in the morning or evening, but not all-day I am ready for us to define our relationship I need us to have important conversations in person or on a video call, not text I won’t be available to talk after 10 pm When we go out, I like to split the bill or take turns

Dating Boundaries

Jennifer February 2, 2021

Dating boundaries are important because they reflect the kinds of boundaries we have in other parts of our lives. If our boundaries are non-existent in the beginning, it can be challenging to re-instate them later on.  Dating boundaries can be …

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