Assertiveness is a skill that CAN be learnt. If you grew up in a home where assertiveness was not demonstrated, it might be more difficult to understand and have an intuitive feel for it, and that is normal.
If you grew up in an environment where you were punished for having opinions that were different from the tribe, it might feel very frightening to suddenly think about speaking your truth.
When I was first learning to be more assertive (I say first learning because it seems to be an ever-growing piece of work), I would choose something small I felt strongly about that I needed for my own self-care. I got clear about the impact of NOT being assertive and decided to put myself first. Not in a selfish way, in a self-love way. I was clear that if I put myself first in this area, I would have more to give in other areas.
I practised with the small things first with people I regarded as safer. Slowly, over time, I learned that the world was not going to end if we had a conflict and that I was much happier.
Being assertive allows you to be seen authentically; it takes courage.
Be courageous – the world needs you.
What does being assertive mean to you?
Love Jen.
