One of the main things to be aware of with people who use gaslighting is BOUNDARIES. When you know it is black, and they say it is white, there is no point wasting your energy arguing that it is black. Maybe you know they will become aggressive and defensive, or sulky and passive-aggressive. What do you do?
I like to use one line that upholds my version of what happened whilst allowing space for their version is “that is not what happened in my world”. This sentence provides for the fact that we DO have different realities.
When there is abuse and more vigorous forms of gaslighting, there may be put-downs as a response, such as “well, your world is crazy” or “your world is wrong”. The tricky part here is to stick to your inner knowledge of your version and not start to doubt yourself, to maintain your boundary.
If this behaviour continues, it would be best to seek support with the behaviour. Support might be friends and family or a therapist. Many extreme gas lighters are likely to isolate the person they are gaslighting, discouraging contact with friends and family. Beware of this, and stay close to people you know, love and support you.
Big love to all, Jen
