The fawn response is a trauma response. It is a protective reaction to an unsafe situation, usually in our childhood.
As adults, the fawn response shows up in relationships in different ways:
- I’ll say anything to keep the peace. I hate conflict
- I’m exhausted because I know I lack boundaries
- Deep down, I don’t think I’m worthy of a relationship
- I think I’m flawed, and eventually, the other person will find out
- I have to control them because I don’t feel safe in the relationship
- When they’re angry, I agree with anything they say
- I never feel ‘seen’ by other people
- It’s hard to know what I like or need, so I just go along with everyone else.
- It is difficult to express myself
- I’m responsible for how they feel
Just identifying this pattern is a step toward healing. We can shift trauma responses with care and focus over time if we are in safe relationships.
One of the best ways to work with trauma is through therapy. Looking for a trauma-informed, somatic therapist could be super helpful.
Love to all,
Jen