Getting louder is a common strategy for those with an anxious attachment style. It’s a way to seek attention, to be noticed, and to feel a sense of connection. If this sounds familiar, know that you’re not alone. Many of us with this attachment style have had to protest and get louder to have our needs met and to be noticed.
When we get louder in a relationship, it can feel incredibly unsafe to the other person, and often, the other person will move away, which is exactly what we are trying to prevent.
This is especially tricky in the pursuer/withdrawer dynamic in a relationship.
If you want to learn more about this dynamic, you will love my ✨FREE✨ resource to help you gain awareness of your negative cycle. This frustrating cycle usually makes you both feel more disconnected than ever. Learning what your negative cycle is so you can identify it in the moment is a game changer.
In it, you will learn:
- To recognise your negative cycle when it is in action
- How your actions create reactions in your partner
- What your attachment needs are in the relationship
- What your partner’s attachment needs are
- What core emotions are sitting under your expressed emotions
Comment CYCLE on this post, and I’ll send you the link.
If you want to hear more about the behaviours of those with anxious attachment, check out my podcast Ep 30: Understanding Anxious Attachment Behaviours
Much love, Jen